Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Of course the next thing that followed was whether or not I was going back to that church again. If you asked me that question the minute I walked out and got into my car with my kids and drove off, my answer would have been: “HELL NO!”
But, something happened as I was driving along the highway. Some nun suddenly stopped on the highway as all of us behind her were cruising. I was two cars behind her. The guy behind her managed to change lanes on time to get away. I managed to brake in time not to hit the nun’s car but some guy cruising from the church I had just attended came and rear ended me! I could see his approach and knew that he could not possibly avoid hitting me at that speed. Thankfully, he braked and I tried to go as close as possible to the nun’s car such that the collision was minor. All three cars stopped at the side of the road. The nun was about to take off but I told her to hold on coz those guys hit me because of her. She faithfully waited as I went to talk to the guy who hit me.
I found that the guy had jumped out of his car and a woman was now sitting in the driving seat having moved the car off the road. When she saw me she said: “I am always telling him to keep his distance”. And I said; “Well, I suppose we all stopped suddenly.” And she said: “That is not the point, he should be keeping his distance. I always tell him that.” I told her its ok, the damage is not that bad, we can leave it alone. I could not imagine myself with three hungry kids in my car waiting for the cops to come. As I walked back to my car I stopped to talk to the nun and she gave me a lecture. She told me: “You should never be bothered about what the people behind you are doing. It is up to them to keep their distance. Me I had to stop and it was up to you people to keep your distance.” I told her that we had settled the matter and she again repeated that she was not at fault and it was up to us to keep our distance. I walked off.
The third child I was with is my nephew’s best friend whose mother lets him go with us after church then I drop him home later in the evening. She probably thinks that I am an angel taking her son off her hands every Sunday afternoon and giving her the chance to rest. On my part, I think she is an angel to entrust the care of her son to me, something she is always telling me. That son of hers makes sure that my nephew is busy thinking about something else other than watching television which I do not allow him to do except on Saturday afternoons after his soccer practice. To show me how bored he is and probably irritate me into letting him watch television, he follows me around the house and if I sit down to do anything he sits looking over my shoulder or in front of me looking like he is about to die. Thank God for that lady and her son!
Now, after driving off from the accident scene, I played back what had just happened, in my mind. I remembered my theory that timing is everything in a road accident and I wondered whether God was trying to send me a message about whether or not I should go back to that church. Here is a nun telling me that it is the responsibility of the church people to keep their distance from me. Not for me to keep my distance from them. I should not be bothered with what the church goers are doing! Even the lady from church says that it is their responsibility to keep their distance from me! So I should just keep going to the church right?
Oh yah right!! Who? Me? Never! How the hell can I encounter that ridicule again! Lord do you know what those guys are thinking of me? They think that I am a laughing stalk! Only one guy out of a few hundred was willing to come over and talk to me. ONE GUY!!! If you wanted me to go back there, couldn’t you have sent like maybe twenty people to encourage me. ONE GUY?! No thanks.
I was interrupted in my thinking by my nephew’s best friend who told me: “You know, when you were talking there in front of the church, we were feeling so happy!” Guess what I thought then? Jesus loved children. He said that if we grown ups could have the faith of little children, we would see God or something like that. I was not ready to be like Jesus. Lord please, yah ok, it felt so nice to hear him say that, my heart melted. I thought Wow! They were impressed by me making a fool of myself? I asked them whether they agreed with me they said yes! But what the hell do little children know?! Could my nephew and his best friend possibly give me the courage to go back to that church?! No way! Imagine me marching into the church with two kids and a baby by my side and feeling brave among a few hundred grown ups looking at me like I need to take some valium!
I had already decided to change churches and I had resolved to be going to some church which is walking distance from my house. I tried it once or twice with my nephew when we were looking for a Sunday church and what I remember is that it was the most boring church I had attended in Kenya. I now thought that that was the best place for me. A place where I am so bored that I don’t hear what is being said. They also have Sunday school and it was quite active. Since my church going was inspired by my kids, as long as their needs are taken care of, I will take advantage of the boredom to catch up with my bible reading.
Much later on when I digested just what a stupid thing I had done and was reading the Bible, I remembered about how Jesus said that if I deny Him, he will deny me too, or something like that. I wondered whether my not going back to that church will be tantamount to denying Jesus. I remembered the nun and what she had said to me. I reviewed my message about being infected with God and realized that I had gone wrong in saying that someone can get infected with God. I suppose an infection is not a word that can be associated with God. So I adjusted the wording to replace God with love and goodness. So that instead of telling people to love themselves and do good as a formula to getting themselves infected with God like the HIV virus, I decided that my message should be to tell people to love themselves and do good and be filled with the love and goodness of God.
Even after considering this issue of denying Jesus, I could not find the courage to go back to that church. After a long time thinking, I realized what God must have gone through before He decided on how to deal with us and our free will. He decided to let us be the ones to make the decision of whether or not to stay in the garden of Eden. He provided us with the way out and we fell for it and out we went. So I decided that I would provide a way out for the church so that they could get rid of me.
I also remembered the advice I normally give to anyone coming to me for advice on a divorce. I tell them that the answer to all their problems is only one thing: ACCEPTANCE. If you accept who you are and what has happened to you, if you can accept that your spouse has fallen out of love with you or the differences between you are irreconcilable, you will free yourself from a lot of nonsense that the lack of acceptance makes one do. In the absence of such acceptance, the couple are vengeful, they go disclosing the intimate details of what happens in their bedrooms to complete strangers, they hire lawyers who they spend large amounts of money on, prolonging the litigation and by the time they get their divorce order, the difference between a couple who exercised acceptance and one who did not is that the former still have their integrity intact and can move on with their lives freely without hearing someone sniggering about what they heard was said in court about what they do behind closed doors.
Could I accept who I was? What could I do to correct my mistake and still have my integrity intact? I could accept that I made a fool out of myself. I remembered that when I was in High School, I used to do some stupid things like instead of tying one or two pony tails on my hair, I would tie even seven pony tails. I cannot recall what that was all about. I also remembered a teacher of mine telling me that I was so over-confident. In other words, I was a rebel without a cause.
What was it that I needed to accept so that I could continue attending the same church and earn back my lost integrity? I needed to accept that what I did was foolish but I should not give up on God. To correct my mistake, I was pretty sure that God was not about to give me a shepherd’s staff to turn into a snake. I decided that the best thing to do is print a t-shirt to wear to church next time I go with the message on the front that: I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF FOR JESUS and on the back, I AM FILLED WITH THE LOVE AND GOODNESS OF GOD. Then in smaller print: “I AM THE MIND BOGGLER”.
That’s what I did.
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Of course the next thing that followed was whether or not I was going back to that church again. If you asked me that question the minute I walked out and got into my car with my kids and drove off, my answer would have been: “HELL NO!”
But, something happened as I was driving along the highway. Some nun suddenly stopped on the highway as all of us behind her were cruising. I was two cars behind her. The guy behind her managed to change lanes on time to get away. I managed to brake in time not to hit the nun’s car but some guy cruising from the church I had just attended came and rear ended me! I could see his approach and knew that he could not possibly avoid hitting me at that speed. Thankfully, he braked and I tried to go as close as possible to the nun’s car such that the collision was minor. All three cars stopped at the side of the road. The nun was about to take off but I told her to hold on coz those guys hit me because of her. She faithfully waited as I went to talk to the guy who hit me.
I found that the guy had jumped out of his car and a woman was now sitting in the driving seat having moved the car off the road. When she saw me she said: “I am always telling him to keep his distance”. And I said; “Well, I suppose we all stopped suddenly.” And she said: “That is not the point, he should be keeping his distance. I always tell him that.” I told her its ok, the damage is not that bad, we can leave it alone. I could not imagine myself with three hungry kids in my car waiting for the cops to come. As I walked back to my car I stopped to talk to the nun and she gave me a lecture. She told me: “You should never be bothered about what the people behind you are doing. It is up to them to keep their distance. Me I had to stop and it was up to you people to keep your distance.” I told her that we had settled the matter and she again repeated that she was not at fault and it was up to us to keep our distance. I walked off.
The third child I was with is my nephew’s best friend whose mother lets him go with us after church then I drop him home later in the evening. She probably thinks that I am an angel taking her son off her hands every Sunday afternoon and giving her the chance to rest. On my part, I think she is an angel to entrust the care of her son to me, something she is always telling me. That son of hers makes sure that my nephew is busy thinking about something else other than watching television which I do not allow him to do except on Saturday afternoons after his soccer practice. To show me how bored he is and probably irritate me into letting him watch television, he follows me around the house and if I sit down to do anything he sits looking over my shoulder or in front of me looking like he is about to die. Thank God for that lady and her son!
Now, after driving off from the accident scene, I played back what had just happened, in my mind. I remembered my theory that timing is everything in a road accident and I wondered whether God was trying to send me a message about whether or not I should go back to that church. Here is a nun telling me that it is the responsibility of the church people to keep their distance from me. Not for me to keep my distance from them. I should not be bothered with what the church goers are doing! Even the lady from church says that it is their responsibility to keep their distance from me! So I should just keep going to the church right?
Oh yah right!! Who? Me? Never! How the hell can I encounter that ridicule again! Lord do you know what those guys are thinking of me? They think that I am a laughing stalk! Only one guy out of a few hundred was willing to come over and talk to me. ONE GUY!!! If you wanted me to go back there, couldn’t you have sent like maybe twenty people to encourage me. ONE GUY?! No thanks.
I was interrupted in my thinking by my nephew’s best friend who told me: “You know, when you were talking there in front of the church, we were feeling so happy!” Guess what I thought then? Jesus loved children. He said that if we grown ups could have the faith of little children, we would see God or something like that. I was not ready to be like Jesus. Lord please, yah ok, it felt so nice to hear him say that, my heart melted. I thought Wow! They were impressed by me making a fool of myself? I asked them whether they agreed with me they said yes! But what the hell do little children know?! Could my nephew and his best friend possibly give me the courage to go back to that church?! No way! Imagine me marching into the church with two kids and a baby by my side and feeling brave among a few hundred grown ups looking at me like I need to take some valium!
I had already decided to change churches and I had resolved to be going to some church which is walking distance from my house. I tried it once or twice with my nephew when we were looking for a Sunday church and what I remember is that it was the most boring church I had attended in Kenya. I now thought that that was the best place for me. A place where I am so bored that I don’t hear what is being said. They also have Sunday school and it was quite active. Since my church going was inspired by my kids, as long as their needs are taken care of, I will take advantage of the boredom to catch up with my bible reading.
Much later on when I digested just what a stupid thing I had done and was reading the Bible, I remembered about how Jesus said that if I deny Him, he will deny me too, or something like that. I wondered whether my not going back to that church will be tantamount to denying Jesus. I remembered the nun and what she had said to me. I reviewed my message about being infected with God and realized that I had gone wrong in saying that someone can get infected with God. I suppose an infection is not a word that can be associated with God. So I adjusted the wording to replace God with love and goodness. So that instead of telling people to love themselves and do good as a formula to getting themselves infected with God like the HIV virus, I decided that my message should be to tell people to love themselves and do good and be filled with the love and goodness of God.
Even after considering this issue of denying Jesus, I could not find the courage to go back to that church. After a long time thinking, I realized what God must have gone through before He decided on how to deal with us and our free will. He decided to let us be the ones to make the decision of whether or not to stay in the garden of Eden. He provided us with the way out and we fell for it and out we went. So I decided that I would provide a way out for the church so that they could get rid of me.
I also remembered the advice I normally give to anyone coming to me for advice on a divorce. I tell them that the answer to all their problems is only one thing: ACCEPTANCE. If you accept who you are and what has happened to you, if you can accept that your spouse has fallen out of love with you or the differences between you are irreconcilable, you will free yourself from a lot of nonsense that the lack of acceptance makes one do. In the absence of such acceptance, the couple are vengeful, they go disclosing the intimate details of what happens in their bedrooms to complete strangers, they hire lawyers who they spend large amounts of money on, prolonging the litigation and by the time they get their divorce order, the difference between a couple who exercised acceptance and one who did not is that the former still have their integrity intact and can move on with their lives freely without hearing someone sniggering about what they heard was said in court about what they do behind closed doors.
Could I accept who I was? What could I do to correct my mistake and still have my integrity intact? I could accept that I made a fool out of myself. I remembered that when I was in High School, I used to do some stupid things like instead of tying one or two pony tails on my hair, I would tie even seven pony tails. I cannot recall what that was all about. I also remembered a teacher of mine telling me that I was so over-confident. In other words, I was a rebel without a cause.
What was it that I needed to accept so that I could continue attending the same church and earn back my lost integrity? I needed to accept that what I did was foolish but I should not give up on God. To correct my mistake, I was pretty sure that God was not about to give me a shepherd’s staff to turn into a snake. I decided that the best thing to do is print a t-shirt to wear to church next time I go with the message on the front that: I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF FOR JESUS and on the back, I AM FILLED WITH THE LOVE AND GOODNESS OF GOD. Then in smaller print: “I AM THE MIND BOGGLER”.
That’s what I did.
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