Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 42
A life ruled by passion is a life devoid of the words of Brian McKnight’s song: ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’. In other words, a passionate person must not have any regrets about his/her actions. Mistakes are not regrets. Mistakes carry with them valuable lessons that cannot be learned any other way. Regrets are when instead of accepting your mistakes and learning from them and moving on, you dwell on the mistakes and let them eat at you adopting the attitude of “Coulda done this….”, “Woulda done that….”, “Shoulda done this…..”. A passionate person accepts, learns and moves on.
I have been thinking seriously about the causes of illnesses like cancer which are incurable and which amount to someone’s body cells turning against that person and literally eating him/her alive. Could the cause of such illnesses be regrets? We all know what regrets are but science cannot prove their existence in someone’s body. I know from experience that if you do not follow your passions, you will most definitely regret it. Your passions are the same as the waste products produced by your body. If you do not expel waste products from your body, you will endanger your health. So why can’t the same theory be applied to regrets?
Expelling regrets from your body requires you to follow your passions wherever they may lead you without fear knowing that money flows where passion goes and God cannot direct you to do something which will harm you since you are part of His body. Simply put, God cannot give you a burden that you cannot carry. We have become experts at harbouring regrets instead of letting our passions flow. And what I have come to realize is that perhaps it is not what goes into our mouths that matters, it is what comes out of our minds that does.
What happens if you do not pursue your passions? One, the timing of the events of your life are altered dramatically so that if you were meant to be a musician and you are practicing law, you start moving away from your destiny. And then something happens and you die unexpectedly. When I started on this quest, I thought that I had nothing to do with how and when I die. I am starting to think differently as I consider my discoveries about passion. And it scares me. It seems like such a heavy burden to carry. It is so much easier to just leave it to God. In court, when a lawyer has been floored by his/her opponent and the Judge asks whether s/he has any reply, his/her answer is usually, “I leave it to the Court”. To me, that is surrender. You accept defeat. And whereas in a court room, surrender is a viable option since you at least put up a fight, most people give up on their passions without even trying. The other thing that happens when you do not pursue your passions, regret accumulates in your body and pretty soon, it starts to manifest itself in the form of an unexplainable, apparently incurable illness.
I think that we rely too much on science to tell us who we are. Could it be that someone suffering from a terminal illness can find healing by letting go of their regrets and fighting to stay alive and pursue their passions? How can I prove these theories? Only by investigating and researching on the lives of those who may have achieved miraculous healing like my dear Pastor. And I sure do not have the time for that. Anyway he did not have time for me either. But I hope our paths cross again some day so I can ask him why he disregarded my message so brutally.
The above thinking is what was making me stay on the collision path with my church members. I think that our churches are not ready for Jesus’ second coming. Jesus said that He will come like a thief in the dead of night. What does that mean? It means that to prepare for Jesus, we have to be talking to everybody and letting everybody talk to us. I mean Jesus was a carpenter. An ordinary citizen wearing sandals. How will we identify him if he comes as a beggar?
In my country, chances of Jesus ever being identified when he comes are NIL. My fellow country men are obsessed with the stock market. All they can think about is buying shares so that they can make enough money to fulfill their heart’s desires. Yet the Bible tells you to: ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.’ I don’t think any of them is preparing for the second coming of Jesus. They are busy worshipping economic development.
But whose responsibility is it to prepare for the second coming of Jesus? The church. Now if the churches we attend do not let the members of their congregation speak their minds and tell what revelations they may have experienced, Jesus will have a hard time getting Himself heard when He comes again, wont He? I feel that I need to make that point to our church. More so because on that fateful day when I made my big mistake, members of the congregation were picked on to recite the memory verses they had memorized. There were 2 women and 1 man who volunteered and the man got the chance to recite because there was not enough time for all of them to do it. The rest of the time was for our visiting Pastor to speak his mind.
I was not there when the memory verses were assigned so I did not know what to expect but goodness me, the guy recited the whole of Revelations 5 which has 14 verses and he even knew the numbering of the verses. I was impressed as was everyone else and we clapped heartily. But I was left wondering whether that was of any help to the congregation. What is the purpose of memorizing memory verses? And to be honest, I cannot remember what he said. I am pretty sure no-one else did because anyway, you can read it from the Bible if you are so interested in knowing. I have a mind to use him as a witness during my argument in favour of time for members of the congregation to speak. I will ask him to come up to the podium and pull his stunt again. I highly doubt that he will manage. Will he be embarrassed? Well he better be willing to make a fool of himself for Jesus if he wants Jesus to make a fool of himself for him by sneaking up on us instead of just appearing in all His glory!
Here I am, atheist philosopher turned believer in God. The effort that it has taken me to remember what I had been taught about God and Jesus has not been great because I was able to relate it to my life. I do not need to know the exact wording and chapter and verse numbering of what I am referring to when making the numerous choices I make on a daily basis. What I need to do is to remember the basic teaching and apply it in my life. Even as a lawyer, my mind stores the case law based on the facts of the case and the parties and what the court decided, not based on the reference number of the case.
I feel like the church is letting me down by not giving me an opportunity to say something, just like the Pastors. I would also like to hear someone else say something. That sharing of the events in our lives and interpreting them in accordance with our understanding of the teachings of the Bible is so comforting and encouraging. Better than memory verses by far because we would all remember that stupid girl telling us about being infected by God. And I do not think that it should be limited to Bible study classes of a few people only. In any case, I do not think Jesus will have time to attend Bible Study. Someone who has the courage to stand before a congregation of a few hundred and say something is someone who is driven by passion and deserves to be listened to. I mean out of the 2 hours service we get, can they not spare even 15 minutes for the congregation, so that when Jesus walks into our church, there will be an opportunity for Him to stand up and say something?
This is the question I want answered and that is why I am having the t-shirt printed. If I wear the t-shirt for a while, someone might just ask me something. If they don’t, then I will have evidence of how ignorant they are about the coming of Jesus when I decide to confront them about it. I will also have the evidence of those who have been reciting memory verses and forgotten them and those who remember the stupid girl with her story about being infected by God. That’s how a good lawyer works. A good lawyer prepares the evidence carefully before she goes to court.
I will admit that there is a selfish angle to this. I just might find myself some people who share my views and wow wouldn’t that be great? I am not lonely, but I would love some company of like minded people to discuss my thoughts with before or after I write them down. Am I driven by passion? I believe so, but I cant prove it! I just have this strong feeling that I need to do this, kind of like when I need to go to the loo!
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 42
A life ruled by passion is a life devoid of the words of Brian McKnight’s song: ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’. In other words, a passionate person must not have any regrets about his/her actions. Mistakes are not regrets. Mistakes carry with them valuable lessons that cannot be learned any other way. Regrets are when instead of accepting your mistakes and learning from them and moving on, you dwell on the mistakes and let them eat at you adopting the attitude of “Coulda done this….”, “Woulda done that….”, “Shoulda done this…..”. A passionate person accepts, learns and moves on.
I have been thinking seriously about the causes of illnesses like cancer which are incurable and which amount to someone’s body cells turning against that person and literally eating him/her alive. Could the cause of such illnesses be regrets? We all know what regrets are but science cannot prove their existence in someone’s body. I know from experience that if you do not follow your passions, you will most definitely regret it. Your passions are the same as the waste products produced by your body. If you do not expel waste products from your body, you will endanger your health. So why can’t the same theory be applied to regrets?
Expelling regrets from your body requires you to follow your passions wherever they may lead you without fear knowing that money flows where passion goes and God cannot direct you to do something which will harm you since you are part of His body. Simply put, God cannot give you a burden that you cannot carry. We have become experts at harbouring regrets instead of letting our passions flow. And what I have come to realize is that perhaps it is not what goes into our mouths that matters, it is what comes out of our minds that does.
What happens if you do not pursue your passions? One, the timing of the events of your life are altered dramatically so that if you were meant to be a musician and you are practicing law, you start moving away from your destiny. And then something happens and you die unexpectedly. When I started on this quest, I thought that I had nothing to do with how and when I die. I am starting to think differently as I consider my discoveries about passion. And it scares me. It seems like such a heavy burden to carry. It is so much easier to just leave it to God. In court, when a lawyer has been floored by his/her opponent and the Judge asks whether s/he has any reply, his/her answer is usually, “I leave it to the Court”. To me, that is surrender. You accept defeat. And whereas in a court room, surrender is a viable option since you at least put up a fight, most people give up on their passions without even trying. The other thing that happens when you do not pursue your passions, regret accumulates in your body and pretty soon, it starts to manifest itself in the form of an unexplainable, apparently incurable illness.
I think that we rely too much on science to tell us who we are. Could it be that someone suffering from a terminal illness can find healing by letting go of their regrets and fighting to stay alive and pursue their passions? How can I prove these theories? Only by investigating and researching on the lives of those who may have achieved miraculous healing like my dear Pastor. And I sure do not have the time for that. Anyway he did not have time for me either. But I hope our paths cross again some day so I can ask him why he disregarded my message so brutally.
The above thinking is what was making me stay on the collision path with my church members. I think that our churches are not ready for Jesus’ second coming. Jesus said that He will come like a thief in the dead of night. What does that mean? It means that to prepare for Jesus, we have to be talking to everybody and letting everybody talk to us. I mean Jesus was a carpenter. An ordinary citizen wearing sandals. How will we identify him if he comes as a beggar?
In my country, chances of Jesus ever being identified when he comes are NIL. My fellow country men are obsessed with the stock market. All they can think about is buying shares so that they can make enough money to fulfill their heart’s desires. Yet the Bible tells you to: ‘Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.’ I don’t think any of them is preparing for the second coming of Jesus. They are busy worshipping economic development.
But whose responsibility is it to prepare for the second coming of Jesus? The church. Now if the churches we attend do not let the members of their congregation speak their minds and tell what revelations they may have experienced, Jesus will have a hard time getting Himself heard when He comes again, wont He? I feel that I need to make that point to our church. More so because on that fateful day when I made my big mistake, members of the congregation were picked on to recite the memory verses they had memorized. There were 2 women and 1 man who volunteered and the man got the chance to recite because there was not enough time for all of them to do it. The rest of the time was for our visiting Pastor to speak his mind.
I was not there when the memory verses were assigned so I did not know what to expect but goodness me, the guy recited the whole of Revelations 5 which has 14 verses and he even knew the numbering of the verses. I was impressed as was everyone else and we clapped heartily. But I was left wondering whether that was of any help to the congregation. What is the purpose of memorizing memory verses? And to be honest, I cannot remember what he said. I am pretty sure no-one else did because anyway, you can read it from the Bible if you are so interested in knowing. I have a mind to use him as a witness during my argument in favour of time for members of the congregation to speak. I will ask him to come up to the podium and pull his stunt again. I highly doubt that he will manage. Will he be embarrassed? Well he better be willing to make a fool of himself for Jesus if he wants Jesus to make a fool of himself for him by sneaking up on us instead of just appearing in all His glory!
Here I am, atheist philosopher turned believer in God. The effort that it has taken me to remember what I had been taught about God and Jesus has not been great because I was able to relate it to my life. I do not need to know the exact wording and chapter and verse numbering of what I am referring to when making the numerous choices I make on a daily basis. What I need to do is to remember the basic teaching and apply it in my life. Even as a lawyer, my mind stores the case law based on the facts of the case and the parties and what the court decided, not based on the reference number of the case.
I feel like the church is letting me down by not giving me an opportunity to say something, just like the Pastors. I would also like to hear someone else say something. That sharing of the events in our lives and interpreting them in accordance with our understanding of the teachings of the Bible is so comforting and encouraging. Better than memory verses by far because we would all remember that stupid girl telling us about being infected by God. And I do not think that it should be limited to Bible study classes of a few people only. In any case, I do not think Jesus will have time to attend Bible Study. Someone who has the courage to stand before a congregation of a few hundred and say something is someone who is driven by passion and deserves to be listened to. I mean out of the 2 hours service we get, can they not spare even 15 minutes for the congregation, so that when Jesus walks into our church, there will be an opportunity for Him to stand up and say something?
This is the question I want answered and that is why I am having the t-shirt printed. If I wear the t-shirt for a while, someone might just ask me something. If they don’t, then I will have evidence of how ignorant they are about the coming of Jesus when I decide to confront them about it. I will also have the evidence of those who have been reciting memory verses and forgotten them and those who remember the stupid girl with her story about being infected by God. That’s how a good lawyer works. A good lawyer prepares the evidence carefully before she goes to court.
I will admit that there is a selfish angle to this. I just might find myself some people who share my views and wow wouldn’t that be great? I am not lonely, but I would love some company of like minded people to discuss my thoughts with before or after I write them down. Am I driven by passion? I believe so, but I cant prove it! I just have this strong feeling that I need to do this, kind of like when I need to go to the loo!
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