Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Chapter 91

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Friday, February 8, 2008

Chapter 90

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 90


I have found my missing ‘something’.

When I embarked on my quest to find what I was missing in my life, I called myself a floater. Someone who just went with the flow not knowing how I had ended up where I was in life and not well …………. somewhere else.

My quest for my missing something is now clear to me. What I was missing in my life is simple - CONTROL. I did not know who was responsible for my life. I did not feel responsible for how my life had turned out because I thought that the unpredictable things that had got me to where I was were more than those I had planned.

Now I know the truth. I know that I am fully responsible for everything in my life. Life is about only one thing - control. I control my life because I and only I can choose whether to follow passion or selfishness.

I have learned that I can control the outcome of my life if I control my thoughts and feelings towards the people, things and situations in my life. Passion plays a vital role in my life by helping me overcome my humanity and pursue my spirituality.

Consciously or subconsciously, I am the one who has always controlled my thoughts and feelings and therefore my actions in creating the life that I am living. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my failures and I cannot credit anyone but myself for my successes.

Life is truly what you make of it and until you know Love, you are NOTHING. The knowledge of God, is indeed the beginning of all understanding.

I am beginning to understand my life.

I am erasing all preconditioned thoughts and feelings in my mind.

I am starting anew.

I am letting Passion guide my thoughts, feelings and actions and lead me to Love.

I am learning to know God; learning to live a Godly life believing with confidence that if I seek first the Kingdom of God by letting God rule my life, all my hearts desires will be added unto me and I will live the life that I was born to live as a child of God to whom success is inevitable.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Chapter 89

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 89

Money, money, money, money. Can temptation get any better than this?

I was not thinking about myself and what I could do for myself with that money; although there is a lot that I could think of. I was thinking about how much I could do for the victims of the post election violence especially the orphaned children who cannot be re-settled. I have always wanted to start a children’s home coz I just love kids and I think that the best way to make the world a better place is to start with the children.

I could sign the agreement, take the money then break the agreement and see what the guy would do to me. If he saw that I spent the money setting up a children’s home for orphaned kids, would he really sue me for the money back?! I have absolutely no idea who the guy is so I am completely unable to speculate about what he can and cannot do to me, including getting me killed.

So I did what I knew I had to do. I took time out and thought deeply about the situation I was in and in a surprisingly short time, I thought myself out of the situation. At first, I thought that the choice I had boiled down to two things:-

Money or Knowledge.

99.99999999% of the people in the world will tell you that money is what we all need to get what we want. I say that what we need is knowledge, not money.

I say this because, and you will agree, money is not an end in itself. Money consists of pieces of paper which you cannot eat, you cannot wear, you cannot live in and which cannot give you any information about anything. Money is a means to an end and not an end in itself. So when you have money, you have to use that money to get what you want. Hopefully there will be someone who wants your money and has something you want so you can exchange the money for what you want. In the absence of someone who wants your money, you and your money are worthless.

Knowledge, like money, is also not an end in itself. It is a means to an end. Knowledge enables you to understand yourself and your environment and to find what it is you are looking for in life. Knowledge is an invisible thing. You cannot eat it, wear it or live in it but it will educate you.

Like a choice between a train ticket and a bus ticket to get you somewhere, choosing between money and knowledge is a choice between two means of getting you something. Of the two, which should you focus on when aiming for your goal? Money or knowledge?

The primary difference between money and knowledge is that whereas there are some things that money cannot get you, knowledge will get you EVERYTHING you want.

What I want is to find my missing something. Since the time I started looking for it, all the progress I have made and all the knowledge I have acquired did not cost me any money. But I have come so far as to attract the attention of someone who is willing to spend an obscene amount of money on me albeit on conditions that I cannot accept.

What do I need in my life? Mr. X’s money or to know Love? I think that what I need is to know Love. The money will follow if I need it. There is a time for everything and now is not the time to be starting my children’s home. It’s time to be getting to know who I am and to know Love.

Following this line of thought, I finally decided that I had to tell Mr. X the truth and I should not allow his offer to provoke me into a thoughtless act. So I turned down Mr. X’s offer and gave him back the cheque and the unsigned agreement. When handing back the cheque, I suggested to him that since he was willing to just give the money to me, he should donate it to a good cause. His answer was that he does not believe in good causes and I am a fool to have turned down his offer for the sake of some wild dream I have about some place called Heaven which he knows does not exist. According to him, I should be making the best of the life I have now and not wasting it in planning for an imaginary life I am not assured of. I simply told him that the fool is one who thinks that money can buy thoughts and beliefs. He then got up, shook my hand, turned around and left.

I am without the slightest doubt in my mind that the choice I made was the right one for two reasons:-

FIRST, if I accepted his money, what kind of a relationship would I have had with a person like Mr. X who wanted to control what I think, what I believe and what I can and cannot talk about? If this is the start of our relationship, how much more would he expect of or from me? Would he then offer me some money to divorce my husband or give my daughter up for adoption? How could I show him that there are some things I cannot sell after selling my thoughts and beliefs to him? Most importantly, how could I prevent him from imposing himself into my life after taking his money in exchange for something that required him to supervise my every step to ensure that he got what he paid for?

SECOND, the Bible tells me that GOD IS LOVE. The Almighty God, Creator of Heaven and earth and all that is in it including Njeri and Mr. X and all of Mr. X’s money is Love. So, if I get to know God, WHOM SHALL I FEAR and WHAT CAN'T I HAVE?

I concluded that my real choice was this:

Should I let God or Mr. X control my life? I chose God. Who would you choose?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Chapter 88

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 88

The other day, after I wrote chapter 87, I received a mysterious visitor in my office. My receptionist said that he was a new client. I cannot remember who he said had referred him to me, if he had said it.

Anyway, this guy came into my office and introduced himself and gave me his card. He told me that he was an avid reader of my blog and was intrigued by my writing. He had decided that he had to meet me and understand whether I am truly the person I portray myself to be. I told him that getting to know someone is not about an office appointment and I was not sure that I wanted to be his friend.

He said that he did not need to be my friend. He had already devised a method by which to obtain the information he needed in the shortest time possible and with certainty. He then handed me an envelope which he had been carrying with me and asked me to take out the contents.

I almost collapsed when I saw a banker’s cheque drawn in my name for a copious amount of money. A figure I cannot reveal. I can only say that its enough for me to adopt the title millionaire in dollar terms.

With the cheque was a one page printed document and this is what was written on it (Mr. X is the guy):-

THIS AGREEMENT is made this ……………….. day of …………………. Between NJERI MUCHERU-OYATTA of P. O. Box …………….. and Mr. X


1. Mr. X will pay to Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta a sum of ………………………. receipt of which Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta hereby acknowledges.

2. In consideration for the above payment, Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta hereby undertakes:-

(a) To immediately cease the writing of her book entitled MIND BOGGLING and published at and to refrain from writing any books at all during her life time.

(b) To immediately abandon her belief in God and cease her quest to know love and to know herself.

(c) Not to ever share her thoughts and feelings about life and the meaning of life with anyone at all during her life time.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF the parties have set their hands hereto the day and year herein before written.

After reading the above document and then looking at the cheque again, I just laughed assuming it was some kind of joke. After I had finished laughing, the man told me that he would give me 7 days to make my decision then he got up and left. He left the cheque with me.

Since then, I have not been able to think about anything else but: should I take the money?! Clearly the guy just wants to know who I am. If I sign, then he knows am a pretender. He probably has no interest in ever enforcing the contract. Which makes me wonder how much money he must be having if he can spend this amount just to satisfy some curiosity!!!!! Maybe if I don’t take the money, there will be much more in store for me than what is on offer now? But what if there isn’t? I will have given up a chance of a lifetime!!!

I know what I should do. How can I let money control my life? Love does not seek its own. Yah right! Maybe the fact that I even have to think about the man’s offer reflects badly on me!!

I need help, NOW!!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Chapter 87

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 87

Human beings place value on money and power or influence. The more money you have and the more influence or power you have, the more valuable you are.

What about spiritual beings? What qualities make a spiritual being valuable? Only one thing makes me valuable as a spiritual being and that is: LOVE. My money, my car, my house, my clothes, all my material possessions are meaningless to me as a spiritual being. They are of no consequence to who I am. The only thing that matters to me as a spiritual being is Love. If I know love and I have love in me, then I am the most valuable being.

In other words, to get to Heaven, what matters is whether I know love and have love in me, full stop. Nothing more.

As human beings, we are taught that what matters in life is to get a good education, get a good job, make lots of money, amass wealth, settle down into family life, have kids, retire, then wait to die. All meaningless things because once you die, the education, the job, the money, the wealth, the family, the kids, all cease to exist and all that is left is you.

The only thing you take with you when you die is your knowledge of God or lack thereof. If you know God, welcome to Heaven. If not, welcome to Hell. Simple. How much easier can it be?

What is so hard about following Jesus and getting to know God? You don’t need money, you don’t need a house, you don’t need a car, you don’t need anyone, you don’t need anything. You just need to think. Use your God given mind to think. Simple. How much easier can it be?

And if you follow Jesus and get to know God, you will NEVER FAIL. Love never fails. So in the process of following Jesus and getting to know God, all your humanly needs satisfy themselves. I wrote that the pursuit of the things that money can never buy generates money. See?

Poverty as far as spiritual beings are concerned has nothing to do with money. It has to do with the knowledge one has of Love. A poor spirit is one who is fearful, anxious, apprehensive, worried and uncertain. A strong spirit is one who is confident, firm, unwavering and sure. The difference between the two spirits is the knowledge they have of who God is. A poor spirit is focused on worldly pursuits while a strong spirit is focused on Heavenly pursuits.

I asked myself a funny question: In all honesty Njeri, without kidding yourself, which is easier to pursue, money or love? I had to laugh at how simple the answer to that question is yet its taken me so many years of living to get here.

I think the difficulty we experience as human beings is our parallel existence as spiritual beings. Separating your human self from your spiritual self is no easy task. But I think that it is the essence of our being alive. Learning how to control your mind and train it to focus on what matters and what doesn’t is the means by which we get to know who we are and who God is.

There is a lot that does not matter in our lives but it has been packaged to appear more important than what actually matters. In this world, making money is a much more valued achievement than learning how to control your anger. There are so many angry bosses out there whose money making abilities keep them wealthy and so many polite employees whose kindness keeps them from being promoted.

I have found that life is much more exciting when I focus my mind on what I feel and think about the situations I find myself in and train my mind to respond in a way that corresponds with love. Every such experience brings with it a feeling of enlightenment and satisfaction that making money has never given me because the outcome of my actions is always a pleasant unexpected surprise.

I am convinced that becoming a person who: suffers long and is kind, does not envy, does not parade herself and is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek her own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things - a person who never fails, is what gives my life meaning.

Truly, without love, I am nothing.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Chapter 86

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 86

An easy life is a life of certainty. A life that is predictable. Whether there is danger or not is not the issue because anticipated danger can be prepared for and averted. Knowing what the future holds for us makes life easy.

Human beings are creatures of routine. We like to organize our lives in such a way that we know what tomorrow will bring yet no-one really knows what tomorrow will bring. Every tomorrow has something new, sometimes the new thing can transform your life or change it for worse or for better. Life in general is unpredictable.

Life in Kenya today is as unpredictable as life can get. Everyday brings something new. In the last few weeks since 30th December 2007, our lives have been transformed. Insecurity is as high as can be. Most Kenyans today are worried, concerned, anxious, apprehensive and uncertain. I was also suffering from the same emotions until I sat myself down and thought deeply about what the future could hold for me and my family. As always, I picked up my Bible to find some guidance for my thoughts.

I turned to the story of Jesus in Mathew 8:23-26 and read about a time when Jesus got into a boat and His disciples followed Him. Suddenly there was a great storm and the boat was covered with the waves and all the time Jesus was asleep. His disciples went to Him and woke Him up saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” On reading this, I immediately pictured Kenya as a boat out at sea and I likened the situation we are in to a great storm with huge waves rising and slapping down on our country every time there is an outbreak of violence somewhere or other. The most recent wave was the shooting to death early this morning of a newly elected opposition Member of Parliament. Many waves have hit our country and if the waves keep coming, pretty soon, the boat will capsize and take us all to the deep dark sea with it. I too, like the disciples of Jesus, would be quick to call on God to save us.

The response that Jesus gave to His disciples when they woke Him up is a powerful message. He said, “Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?”

From this question, I picked out two important things: fear and faith. Little faith breeds fear. If God is truly who I believe Him to be, why do I fear anything including the killings going on in my country? Obviously my faith in God is not what it should be. If you have faith in God, if you believe that God is all mighty, all powerful, all knowing and all loving, how can you be afraid of anything? I could not answer this question. I felt that that question was unjustified. I experienced a paralysis of thought because I could not explain my fear.

Jesus said that we should not fear those who kill the body and cannot kill the soul. We should fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. In this life, the difference between a death which destroys only the body and one which destroys both the soul and body in hell is blurred. Can there really be a difference in the deaths of two people who are burned to death in their houses or cut up with pangas? Is it possible to confront a man with a panga confidently believing that God is all mighty, all powerful, all knowing and all loving? A ridiculous thought I know. But as a Christian, why should I fear being cut up with a panga?

As soon as I posed these questions, I understood what my problem is. My problem is my imagination. I am seeing and reading about heinous crimes being committed against my fellow Kenyans and although I believe in a God who is all mighty, all powerful, all knowing and all loving, I imagine that something similar is likely to happen to me. The question I should be asking myself is whether God would allow something bad to happen to me. The answer to that is no. My God would not. If something bad has happened to some other people, too bad for them. They should have seen it coming. Here I am busying myself in learning who God is and trying to live a life guided by Passion. Trying to understand who I am and what my purpose for living is. How many people are on such a quest? I only know myself actually. So why am I likening myself to others and putting my faith in what has happened to them expecting it to happen to me? Should I not be putting my faith in God and expecting nothing of that sort to happen to me?

Jesus promised us an easy life. He said, “Come to Me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

The moment I decided that:

1. I will not liken myself to anyone;
2. I will follow my own path;
3. I will live my life to know God;
4. I will let Passion guide me;
5. I will put my faith, not in what I see and hear but in what I know is happening in my life;

the fear left me.

I am not afraid any more. There may be danger around me but my God will protect me and my family from it. He is all mighty, all powerful, all knowing and all loving. Imagining that anything can happen to me is a lack of faith in God. I will stand firm in my faith and believe that with God my security is guaranteed. I cannot begin to tell you how much easier my life has become.

If you are in fear, my advise to you is this: Do not liken yourself to anyone. Decide to follow Jesus and put your faith in God. Embark on the quest to know Love and thus eliminate fear from your life.

Choose the easy life.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Chapter 85

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 85

What is the meaning of my new motto? How does it apply to my life in practical terms? Am I to be alert and careful with what I think, say and do every minute of every day to ensure that my thoughts, words and deeds are in accordance with my new motto?

When I asked myself the above questions, I almost gave up on this new motto. It is impossible to expect myself to calculate every thought word and deed. It would be like counting calories, something I cannot understand how anyone manages to do. In spite of my doubts, I had a strong feeling that I was on the right track and must find a way out of this puzzling moment to move onto the next step.

As I sat and pondered about how I could possibly start my new life of becoming a loving person, I remembered that the Bible says that Jesus is the way the truth and the life and no-one comes to the Father except by Him (Jesus). In my quest for love, I temporarily forgot about Passion which is the only means by which I can get to know Love.

I have found that in order to live by my new motto, I have to pay attention to my feelings. When I feel strongly about something, that strong feeling is a signal showing me that the situation I am in requires me to pay attention to the lesson which the situation is meant to impart. At such a time, I need to think deeply about what feeling I am getting from the situation and if that feeling does not reflect the qualities of love, then I must consult my mind and change the way I think about the situation so that I can change my feeling toward the situation to reflect a quality of love. This is vital because my thoughts are what invoke me into action. By changing the way I think of any given situation and thus change my feeling toward the situation to reflect a quality of love, my actions in that situation will determine how my life unfolds. During this process, my character will be moulded to reflect the qualities of love and more importantly, my destiny will be directed towards the life I was born to live.

When I reached that conclusion, I was excited about my new life and could now see that what I thought an impossible task was very possible. This process of discovering how to live a life driven by Passion to find Love in itself showed me how Passion works. It helped me change despair into hope.

The important thing is to pay attention to any strong feeling I get. In the absence of a strong feeling, I can get on with my life normally. In time, I expect that with each moment of Passion, and with each lesson learned, my normal life will begin to change as a natural consequence of my changing character.

My destination is to become a person who: suffers long and is kind, does not envy, does not parade herself and is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek her own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things - a person who NEVER FAILS.

I must say that in as much as I understand what is required of me, I know it will not be easy. I have already experienced how difficult it is. Somehow, I am beginning to see that my driving is an ideal stage for learning. Going by my new motto, this is what I must do.

In traffic jam, no matter what kind of a hurry I am in, I must embrace the suffering and still be kind to my fellow drivers, even if I have a throbbing headache! I cannot allow myself to be rude by refusing to give way to anyone trying to cut into my lane no matter how rudely they cut in. I cannot allow myself to be provoked by the actions or abuses of any driver or pedestrian or police officer. Provocation leads to feelings of anger, fear, pride etc which are not qualities of love and which will distract me from my goal. I should not focus only on myself and how late I am for my appointment; I cannot seek my own; I must be considerate and selfless. Worst of all, I must take responsibility for my fellow road users and ensure their safety and help them as they try to get to where they are going. This is what ‘bears all things’ means to me. And even though in ensuring that I act with Love I find that I am getting very late for my appointment, I must believe that I will not fail in my goal. When the person I am meeting calls me, I should not be rude and refuse to pick up, I should stop my car, if necessary, and truthfully explain my predicament. In this endurance and hope, I will find that actions motivated by passion and love will always succeed in achieving the real goal which is to teach me who I am. How can being late ever impress my new client?

Anything is possible with God. He will ensure that my interests are fulfilled so that I learn my spiritual lesson and I achieve my humanly purpose. God works in mysterious ways. Where my actions dictate failure from a human perspective, from a spiritual perspective, my success is inevitable if I am acting with love. Previously, I was looking at life from a human perspective. Now, I am looking at life from a spiritual perspective.

The change will not be easy but I think that the change will make my life much easier. And an easy life is truly, what I am looking for. Who doesn’t want an easy life?