Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 90
CONCLUSION
I have found my missing ‘something’.
When I embarked on my quest to find what I was missing in my life, I called myself a floater. Someone who just went with the flow not knowing how I had ended up where I was in life and not well …………. somewhere else.
My quest for my missing something is now clear to me. What I was missing in my life is simple - CONTROL. I did not know who was responsible for my life. I did not feel responsible for how my life had turned out because I thought that the unpredictable things that had got me to where I was were more than those I had planned.
Now I know the truth. I know that I am fully responsible for everything in my life. Life is about only one thing - control. I control my life because I and only I can choose whether to follow passion or selfishness.
I have learned that I can control the outcome of my life if I control my thoughts and feelings towards the people, things and situations in my life. Passion plays a vital role in my life by helping me overcome my humanity and pursue my spirituality.
Consciously or subconsciously, I am the one who has always controlled my thoughts and feelings and therefore my actions in creating the life that I am living. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my failures and I cannot credit anyone but myself for my successes.
Life is truly what you make of it and until you know Love, you are NOTHING. The knowledge of God, is indeed the beginning of all understanding.
I am beginning to understand my life.
I am erasing all preconditioned thoughts and feelings in my mind.
I am starting anew.
I am letting Passion guide my thoughts, feelings and actions and lead me to Love.
I am learning to know God; learning to live a Godly life believing with confidence that if I seek first the Kingdom of God by letting God rule my life, all my hearts desires will be added unto me and I will live the life that I was born to live as a child of God to whom success is inevitable.
CONCLUSION
I have found my missing ‘something’.
When I embarked on my quest to find what I was missing in my life, I called myself a floater. Someone who just went with the flow not knowing how I had ended up where I was in life and not well …………. somewhere else.
My quest for my missing something is now clear to me. What I was missing in my life is simple - CONTROL. I did not know who was responsible for my life. I did not feel responsible for how my life had turned out because I thought that the unpredictable things that had got me to where I was were more than those I had planned.
Now I know the truth. I know that I am fully responsible for everything in my life. Life is about only one thing - control. I control my life because I and only I can choose whether to follow passion or selfishness.
I have learned that I can control the outcome of my life if I control my thoughts and feelings towards the people, things and situations in my life. Passion plays a vital role in my life by helping me overcome my humanity and pursue my spirituality.
Consciously or subconsciously, I am the one who has always controlled my thoughts and feelings and therefore my actions in creating the life that I am living. I cannot blame anyone but myself for my failures and I cannot credit anyone but myself for my successes.
Life is truly what you make of it and until you know Love, you are NOTHING. The knowledge of God, is indeed the beginning of all understanding.
I am beginning to understand my life.
I am erasing all preconditioned thoughts and feelings in my mind.
I am starting anew.
I am letting Passion guide my thoughts, feelings and actions and lead me to Love.
I am learning to know God; learning to live a Godly life believing with confidence that if I seek first the Kingdom of God by letting God rule my life, all my hearts desires will be added unto me and I will live the life that I was born to live as a child of God to whom success is inevitable.
11 comments:
Hello,
Is this the end? I came across your blog while surfing the net, and i found it to be very well thought out. But then again, am not surprised...werent you like the smartest girl in our class. You probably dont remember me, we went to primary school together...St.Nicholas to be exact. I have to say there were bits and pieces of your blog that reminded me of you as a young girl.
It is always nice to hear about people i knew as a child...doing well. Now that your quest for it was you were looking for is over...maybe you can start another blog on your opinion of life in Kenya, Nairobi, etc. It's up to you, all i am saying is keep writing...you do have interesting things to say.
Hi Theuri!! Wow, how have you beeeeeeeeennnn!! Nice to hear from you. We need to catch up. I'll send you an email.
Hi Anne, its great to hear from you. Its the end of this blog coz my journey has moved on to a new dimension and I need to do a bit of practice in this dimension then write again. I'll definitely write again in future. God willing.
Hi Njeri!!
I have been just GREAT!!!! the world awaits more great writings from you!
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Aluguel de Computadores, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://aluguel-de-computadores.blogspot.com. A hug.
Hello,
I had read your blog a while back and was impressed..this second time around it had a profound impact on the way i think.
I should say it takes courage to bear your soul like you did....i commend you for your bravery.
I certainly know how it feels like to think you have something inside of you...you want to share it....but you think you will be misunderstood.
a few years back i visited a friend of mine and found she had some born-again visitors. They took that opportunity to tell us about salvation (which i have no problem with) I stood up and told them the way to get heaven is by doing good deeds...ofcourse they looked at me like i had two heads.
Wow, I like! Very interesting read Njeri, you remind me of ME! I write when am done, I write when am wronged, I write when cheated on, i write , write n write! Then i feel better..its like I get my answers from writing.
You're strong, intelligent and beautiful woman. I so admire you!
Most likely this won't be published.People who Love to wallow in selfpity don't appreciate contrary views.
Firstly your writing resembles stream of conscience rambling from head shot victims. Your ideas laughable as they are jump into the next.
Secondly you reveal a little too much about yourself. Its like your husband should be eternally grateful to you,since he's a Luo and you a Kikuyu.
Thirdly what exactly did you hope to achieve by this? Men do this all the time,married or otherwise-I should know;its in our nature:you mean you honestly didn't know??
no kinuthia, men dont do it all the time. dogs do.
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