Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 56
After an energizing sweat session in my gym room, a long shower, a peep at my sleeping angel and two days of more thinking, I went back for counseling.
Counsellor: Njeri, do you now realize how dangerous it is not to believe in God?
Njeri: Dangerous? Its life threatening! So all this time, my life was based on pleasing my dad when it should have been based on pleasing God!
Counsellor: Exactly. God is immortal so with Him as your Father, being the perfect
daughter in His eyes is an achievable goal.
Njeri: What? Are you crazy? Do you know what being the perfect daughter in God’s
eyes would require? Even at minimum thinking level, I can already tell what HARD WORK that is! God, is a very difficult Being to comprehend. He is invisible, He does not talk out loud, He does not have a shoulder to be cried on, He cannot hug you, He does not have a cell phone, I mean, how does one relate to Him without doubting that their believing in Him is itself an illusion?
Counsellor: Well, when your loved ones are not there next to you, like when your husband travels upcountry and leaves you behind, do you find it difficult to relate to him?
Njeri: No. I know where he is and am going to see him soon when he comes back home. We also talk on the phone daily.
Counsellor: You assume that your husband will come back. But his coming back is dependent on a lot of things remaining constant, things beyond your control. There are many loved ones who leave home one morning and never come back. You have already admitted to living your life under the guidance of somebody who died more than a decade ago.
Njeri: What are you getting at?
Counsellor: My point is this. The presence of God in your life and His influence in your life does not require Him to be alive in this world like you are. Just like your dad’s influence in your life, even in death did not require him to be alive in this world.
Njeri: Ok, I get that point but you see, there was a time that my dad was alive and here with me and I have memories of him. Its not like that with God?!
Counsellor: That is what you think but do you know where you were before you were born?
Njeri: You mean that perhaps I was with God before I was born and being alive is a temporary separation from him just like when my husband travels upcountry?
Counsellor: Exactly. Who created you? God!
Njeri: But God stayed at home and am the one who left huh?
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: And where the hell is this I came to?
Counsellor: You came to the school of life to learn about who you are and your purpose as a child of God.
Njeri: I can see what you are saying about God and I suppose it is true. The fact that my death is an inevitable certainty should communicate an important point to me. That this world is not my home.
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: Now lets go back to this being a perfect daughter in God’s eyes. Why cant I just say that now that I have accepted my dad’s death, I do not need to be anyone’s perfect daughter?
Counsellor: Wait a minute. Are you sure that you have accepted your dad’s death?
Njeri: Well, after our last session, I did a lot of thinking about what accepting his death entails. It means that I have to accept that my dad died with some serious unresolved issues which I cannot do much about now. I can only hope that he will get a second chance. On my part, what he thought of me at his death should not concern me. I should only be concerned with what I think of myself. My life is my own and as long as I am happy with myself and ready to face the consequences of my thoughtless or thoughtful actions, I do not need anyone’s approval. So I have accepted his death. And am moving on. I just don’t know where to as far as my need to be the perfect daughter in my father’s eyes is concerned.
Counsellor: Remember this Njeri, as a human being, you have an inherent need to be something. You need to have a life’s purpose. And most of all, you need to feel accepted. Like you belong somewhere and to someone. Even the way of the world is clear on this.
Njeri: You mean that loving myself and being happy with myself is not sufficient?
Counsellor: Think about it. Are your parents, your siblings, your husband and children, your friends, your employees, your clients, all the people in your life, important to you? Ask yourself this. Why are you writing this book?
Njeri: Oh!
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 56
After an energizing sweat session in my gym room, a long shower, a peep at my sleeping angel and two days of more thinking, I went back for counseling.
Counsellor: Njeri, do you now realize how dangerous it is not to believe in God?
Njeri: Dangerous? Its life threatening! So all this time, my life was based on pleasing my dad when it should have been based on pleasing God!
Counsellor: Exactly. God is immortal so with Him as your Father, being the perfect
daughter in His eyes is an achievable goal.
Njeri: What? Are you crazy? Do you know what being the perfect daughter in God’s
eyes would require? Even at minimum thinking level, I can already tell what HARD WORK that is! God, is a very difficult Being to comprehend. He is invisible, He does not talk out loud, He does not have a shoulder to be cried on, He cannot hug you, He does not have a cell phone, I mean, how does one relate to Him without doubting that their believing in Him is itself an illusion?
Counsellor: Well, when your loved ones are not there next to you, like when your husband travels upcountry and leaves you behind, do you find it difficult to relate to him?
Njeri: No. I know where he is and am going to see him soon when he comes back home. We also talk on the phone daily.
Counsellor: You assume that your husband will come back. But his coming back is dependent on a lot of things remaining constant, things beyond your control. There are many loved ones who leave home one morning and never come back. You have already admitted to living your life under the guidance of somebody who died more than a decade ago.
Njeri: What are you getting at?
Counsellor: My point is this. The presence of God in your life and His influence in your life does not require Him to be alive in this world like you are. Just like your dad’s influence in your life, even in death did not require him to be alive in this world.
Njeri: Ok, I get that point but you see, there was a time that my dad was alive and here with me and I have memories of him. Its not like that with God?!
Counsellor: That is what you think but do you know where you were before you were born?
Njeri: You mean that perhaps I was with God before I was born and being alive is a temporary separation from him just like when my husband travels upcountry?
Counsellor: Exactly. Who created you? God!
Njeri: But God stayed at home and am the one who left huh?
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: And where the hell is this I came to?
Counsellor: You came to the school of life to learn about who you are and your purpose as a child of God.
Njeri: I can see what you are saying about God and I suppose it is true. The fact that my death is an inevitable certainty should communicate an important point to me. That this world is not my home.
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: Now lets go back to this being a perfect daughter in God’s eyes. Why cant I just say that now that I have accepted my dad’s death, I do not need to be anyone’s perfect daughter?
Counsellor: Wait a minute. Are you sure that you have accepted your dad’s death?
Njeri: Well, after our last session, I did a lot of thinking about what accepting his death entails. It means that I have to accept that my dad died with some serious unresolved issues which I cannot do much about now. I can only hope that he will get a second chance. On my part, what he thought of me at his death should not concern me. I should only be concerned with what I think of myself. My life is my own and as long as I am happy with myself and ready to face the consequences of my thoughtless or thoughtful actions, I do not need anyone’s approval. So I have accepted his death. And am moving on. I just don’t know where to as far as my need to be the perfect daughter in my father’s eyes is concerned.
Counsellor: Remember this Njeri, as a human being, you have an inherent need to be something. You need to have a life’s purpose. And most of all, you need to feel accepted. Like you belong somewhere and to someone. Even the way of the world is clear on this.
Njeri: You mean that loving myself and being happy with myself is not sufficient?
Counsellor: Think about it. Are your parents, your siblings, your husband and children, your friends, your employees, your clients, all the people in your life, important to you? Ask yourself this. Why are you writing this book?
Njeri: Oh!
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