Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 61
I called my motor cycle guy today!
On my way to work, I saw a nasty car accident just a short distance from my house near where another one had occurred this same month. Both involved a saloon car and a matatu and looking at the final position of the vehicles and the damage caused, it appeared to me that in both accidents, the saloon cars were overtaking dangerously. The one I saw today was even more gruesome than the first one! Everyone who passed by must have said a prayer for the people in the saloon car which was bashed up pretty good with generous blood stains on the windscreen.
When I saw the accident I asked myself why the two accidents had occurred there and not somewhere else where I would not pass by and experience the horror of looking on. I wondered whether there was a message for me in the two accidents. Recently I had started wondering whether the things that happen to others around me, good or bad, have anything to do with me and the kind of person that I am. Do my actions and omissions affect those around me? They obviously affect those I come into contact with in different ways, but who is to say that they do not affect the lives of my fellow human beings who are not in contact with me?
This is election year in my country and potential candidates are busying themselves campaigning in the hope that the masses will side with them and vote them into office. The actions and omissions of politicians undoubtedly affect those they have never even heard of sometimes in devastating ways like when a president wrongly orders the country to go to war and soldiers are killed. Where do I fall in this equation?
The other day a client came appealing to me to stop the sale of his house where he lives with his entire family. I did what I could to help him and managed to delay the sale on the day it was scheduled to take place. Did my decision to help him affect others I do not know? Definitely, in many ways. For instance, the auctioneer was pissed off because he already had a buyer for the house and the delay meant no fees and possibly a fat commission for him, at least not for the moment. By filing the case, my client’s opponent appointed a lawyer who will get paid for the work s/he does. The potential buyer has to find something else to do with his money and his expectations were dashed. Most importantly, my client’s family can sleep comfortably in their precious house without worrying about it being sold for the moment. I gave my client a chance to put things right and hopefully salvage his house permanently. For every transaction and court case that I have been involved in, I am in no doubt that I have affected the lives of people I do not know in similar ways.
My giving way to my fellow road users and holding lifts for others no doubt affects the timing in their lives similarly to how it affects mine. The tips I give at the supermarket and at restaurants no doubt affect the financial abilities of the recipients. These are people I know nothing about.
So did I have anything to do with the occurrence of the gruesome accidents in a way that perhaps I am not enlightened enough to appreciate? This question stuck in my mind all the way until I got to park my car. During that time, I examined my driving and could not find any wrong in it. I could not imagine that the accidents could have had anything to do with another aspect of my life. That would be too complicated for me to understand. To simplify things, I decided to think about the accidents I have been involved in. Other than the motor cycle guy accident, by the grace of God, I have never been involved in an accident where anyone sustained serious bodily injury. In fact I have only had five material damage brushes with other vehicles which we settled without police assistance. I have been driving for eleven years now. The first minor collision occurred when I was a very green driver, the other four occurred between last year and early this year including the one after church. I was at fault in only one of them. The prominence of road accidents in my life in the recent past has got me concerned that there is something I am supposed to do but am not doing it. Hence my improvement in my driving. After a long soul search, the only thing I could point to is the fact that I had not bothered to call up my motor cycle guy and find out how he was doing. I wondered how my not calling him affected my life or his. Since I could not think of anything else, I went ahead and called him.
I had got his number from a friend who was at the scene of the accident and had collected as much information that he thought I might need should I plan to sue or have to defend myself in court. I printed out the email he sent me and filed it away without a second thought. Now I was wondering what good calling the guy would do to my life. I remembered that I thought that he and I had some connection that caused us to meet on that fateful day. I looked at his name wondering whether it should mean something to me but it was not familiar at all. I asked myself what I had to lose if I made the call and could not imagine anything life threatening. It was possible that he may have lost his phone after the accident and had changed his number. I was not going to get away that easily because I knew where he worked and could call there if his number was of no help.
I asked myself what I had to gain by making the call. I concluded that my curiosity would at least be satisfied. Why not just find out the answers to my questions about him? I was curious to know what the hell he was thinking when he smashed into my car, how he was doing (I did not know if he survived and was dreading the thought that he could have died) and anything else that could help me make the connection. My curiosity got the better of me so I gathered the courage to call and dialed his number.
He picked up the phone and I got confused because I had imagined that he wouldn’t and had not planned on what to say. What reason was I to give him for calling? I decided that it was too late to start planning and resolved to just go with the flow of the conversation. I introduced myself and he sounded happy to hear from me, like he was hoping I would call. He told me that he had recovered and was back to work. I asked him the questions I was dying to hear the answers to: “What was happening that day? Where were you rushing to?” His answer was simply that he cannot remember anything that happened that day! He developed some form of selective amnesia that caused him to block out the memories of that particular day completely. He was in a coma for a period of exactly fourteen days. There are other things and people that he does not recall but he remembers the important things like his family, his workmates, his work etc. He said that he swore never to ride a motor cycle again in his life and thanked me so much for calling. I assured him that nothing serious happened to me and he was relieved. We said good bye and that was it!
I then asked myself what was so hard about such a simple thing. I sat for a while and thought about our conversation and it occurred to me that my calling my motor cycle guy had given him some assurance and comfort that he was lacking. I was certain from the way he sounded that he was also curious about how I was doing and whether I blamed him for anything. The sound of relief in his voice was clearly audible. I felt guilty for having taken so long to call him with no justifiable reason, just imaginary fear. I remembered what my counselor had said about freeing me from my fear of the unknown and realized what she was talking about. Why had I allowed myself to imagine the worst of that guy and act on it instead of acting on facts? It was obvious to me that my not calling that guy was causing him anxiety that he did not need to have and perhaps now that I had called him, his healing could be complete.
It had taken me nine months to call that guy. Was the fact that I survived the accident unscathed not sufficient to warrant my reaching out to that guy who was less fortunate than me? Why did I act so selfishly towards him? Was it not my duty to call him? Could it be that my not calling him had something to do with those gruesome accidents occurring in places where I would pass by to remind me of a duty I was overlooking? Had my failure to perform that duty altered the timing of events in my life to bring me to seeing those gruesome accidents?
Jesus said that we should love our neighbours as we love ourselves. It was my duty to call that guy and even visit him in hospital. Could it be Him who was always pinching at my mind pleading with me to call my motor cycle guy then I would brush Him off by giving some lame excuse about what a ‘dangerous guy’ the motor cycle guy must be! How stupid was that! Passion was calling at my window in the dead of night and I ignored it for fear of the darkness! Could it be that if I had continued ignoring the message to call my motor cycle guy, my passion would have killed me like it did my dad? Maybe the next gruesome accident would have involved me since I had chosen to learn the hard way! Then people would be laughing at me in Hell saying: “Heaven was just a phone call away, you had the name and number all along and you did not call?” Heeheeheeheehee! “What was the reason for you not calling again? You thought the guy was dangerous?!” Heeheeheehee! “You should have read your Bible more keenly and realized that God is more dangerous that anyone in the world and if you ignore His messages, woe unto you!” Heheeeeeeeeeee!
What message did my motor cycle guy’s amnesia communicate to me? Picture this: what if when I called the guy and introduced myself to him, he said that he did not know of any accident, he was never involved in any accident and he does not know who I am and just hang up? I would be left looking at my phone and thinking …… what the……?! I don’t exist to that guy? He almost killed me! I could relate this to what my counselor said about me not acknowledging that God was there with me before I was born since He created me.
During my days of atheist philosophy, I was suffering from selective amnesia. Many people around me were trying to tell me of something that I had no recollection of, they showed me the signs and I refused to listen. The motor cycle guy accepted what he had been told about the accident, he accepted the circumstantial evidence and even acknowledged my existence without questioning my motives when I called. I could have been an investigator from his health insurance company trying to confirm that his medical complaints were genuine! He just believed what I told him without question. AND so did I! I accepted the phone number given to me as his and all that he told me without question. So why does anyone need definite proof of the existence of God? Is the circumstantial evidence especially the inevitability of my death not sufficient?
I do feel enlightened and hope that there will be no more gruesome accidents featuring in my life.
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 61
I called my motor cycle guy today!
On my way to work, I saw a nasty car accident just a short distance from my house near where another one had occurred this same month. Both involved a saloon car and a matatu and looking at the final position of the vehicles and the damage caused, it appeared to me that in both accidents, the saloon cars were overtaking dangerously. The one I saw today was even more gruesome than the first one! Everyone who passed by must have said a prayer for the people in the saloon car which was bashed up pretty good with generous blood stains on the windscreen.
When I saw the accident I asked myself why the two accidents had occurred there and not somewhere else where I would not pass by and experience the horror of looking on. I wondered whether there was a message for me in the two accidents. Recently I had started wondering whether the things that happen to others around me, good or bad, have anything to do with me and the kind of person that I am. Do my actions and omissions affect those around me? They obviously affect those I come into contact with in different ways, but who is to say that they do not affect the lives of my fellow human beings who are not in contact with me?
This is election year in my country and potential candidates are busying themselves campaigning in the hope that the masses will side with them and vote them into office. The actions and omissions of politicians undoubtedly affect those they have never even heard of sometimes in devastating ways like when a president wrongly orders the country to go to war and soldiers are killed. Where do I fall in this equation?
The other day a client came appealing to me to stop the sale of his house where he lives with his entire family. I did what I could to help him and managed to delay the sale on the day it was scheduled to take place. Did my decision to help him affect others I do not know? Definitely, in many ways. For instance, the auctioneer was pissed off because he already had a buyer for the house and the delay meant no fees and possibly a fat commission for him, at least not for the moment. By filing the case, my client’s opponent appointed a lawyer who will get paid for the work s/he does. The potential buyer has to find something else to do with his money and his expectations were dashed. Most importantly, my client’s family can sleep comfortably in their precious house without worrying about it being sold for the moment. I gave my client a chance to put things right and hopefully salvage his house permanently. For every transaction and court case that I have been involved in, I am in no doubt that I have affected the lives of people I do not know in similar ways.
My giving way to my fellow road users and holding lifts for others no doubt affects the timing in their lives similarly to how it affects mine. The tips I give at the supermarket and at restaurants no doubt affect the financial abilities of the recipients. These are people I know nothing about.
So did I have anything to do with the occurrence of the gruesome accidents in a way that perhaps I am not enlightened enough to appreciate? This question stuck in my mind all the way until I got to park my car. During that time, I examined my driving and could not find any wrong in it. I could not imagine that the accidents could have had anything to do with another aspect of my life. That would be too complicated for me to understand. To simplify things, I decided to think about the accidents I have been involved in. Other than the motor cycle guy accident, by the grace of God, I have never been involved in an accident where anyone sustained serious bodily injury. In fact I have only had five material damage brushes with other vehicles which we settled without police assistance. I have been driving for eleven years now. The first minor collision occurred when I was a very green driver, the other four occurred between last year and early this year including the one after church. I was at fault in only one of them. The prominence of road accidents in my life in the recent past has got me concerned that there is something I am supposed to do but am not doing it. Hence my improvement in my driving. After a long soul search, the only thing I could point to is the fact that I had not bothered to call up my motor cycle guy and find out how he was doing. I wondered how my not calling him affected my life or his. Since I could not think of anything else, I went ahead and called him.
I had got his number from a friend who was at the scene of the accident and had collected as much information that he thought I might need should I plan to sue or have to defend myself in court. I printed out the email he sent me and filed it away without a second thought. Now I was wondering what good calling the guy would do to my life. I remembered that I thought that he and I had some connection that caused us to meet on that fateful day. I looked at his name wondering whether it should mean something to me but it was not familiar at all. I asked myself what I had to lose if I made the call and could not imagine anything life threatening. It was possible that he may have lost his phone after the accident and had changed his number. I was not going to get away that easily because I knew where he worked and could call there if his number was of no help.
I asked myself what I had to gain by making the call. I concluded that my curiosity would at least be satisfied. Why not just find out the answers to my questions about him? I was curious to know what the hell he was thinking when he smashed into my car, how he was doing (I did not know if he survived and was dreading the thought that he could have died) and anything else that could help me make the connection. My curiosity got the better of me so I gathered the courage to call and dialed his number.
He picked up the phone and I got confused because I had imagined that he wouldn’t and had not planned on what to say. What reason was I to give him for calling? I decided that it was too late to start planning and resolved to just go with the flow of the conversation. I introduced myself and he sounded happy to hear from me, like he was hoping I would call. He told me that he had recovered and was back to work. I asked him the questions I was dying to hear the answers to: “What was happening that day? Where were you rushing to?” His answer was simply that he cannot remember anything that happened that day! He developed some form of selective amnesia that caused him to block out the memories of that particular day completely. He was in a coma for a period of exactly fourteen days. There are other things and people that he does not recall but he remembers the important things like his family, his workmates, his work etc. He said that he swore never to ride a motor cycle again in his life and thanked me so much for calling. I assured him that nothing serious happened to me and he was relieved. We said good bye and that was it!
I then asked myself what was so hard about such a simple thing. I sat for a while and thought about our conversation and it occurred to me that my calling my motor cycle guy had given him some assurance and comfort that he was lacking. I was certain from the way he sounded that he was also curious about how I was doing and whether I blamed him for anything. The sound of relief in his voice was clearly audible. I felt guilty for having taken so long to call him with no justifiable reason, just imaginary fear. I remembered what my counselor had said about freeing me from my fear of the unknown and realized what she was talking about. Why had I allowed myself to imagine the worst of that guy and act on it instead of acting on facts? It was obvious to me that my not calling that guy was causing him anxiety that he did not need to have and perhaps now that I had called him, his healing could be complete.
It had taken me nine months to call that guy. Was the fact that I survived the accident unscathed not sufficient to warrant my reaching out to that guy who was less fortunate than me? Why did I act so selfishly towards him? Was it not my duty to call him? Could it be that my not calling him had something to do with those gruesome accidents occurring in places where I would pass by to remind me of a duty I was overlooking? Had my failure to perform that duty altered the timing of events in my life to bring me to seeing those gruesome accidents?
Jesus said that we should love our neighbours as we love ourselves. It was my duty to call that guy and even visit him in hospital. Could it be Him who was always pinching at my mind pleading with me to call my motor cycle guy then I would brush Him off by giving some lame excuse about what a ‘dangerous guy’ the motor cycle guy must be! How stupid was that! Passion was calling at my window in the dead of night and I ignored it for fear of the darkness! Could it be that if I had continued ignoring the message to call my motor cycle guy, my passion would have killed me like it did my dad? Maybe the next gruesome accident would have involved me since I had chosen to learn the hard way! Then people would be laughing at me in Hell saying: “Heaven was just a phone call away, you had the name and number all along and you did not call?” Heeheeheeheehee! “What was the reason for you not calling again? You thought the guy was dangerous?!” Heeheeheehee! “You should have read your Bible more keenly and realized that God is more dangerous that anyone in the world and if you ignore His messages, woe unto you!” Heheeeeeeeeeee!
What message did my motor cycle guy’s amnesia communicate to me? Picture this: what if when I called the guy and introduced myself to him, he said that he did not know of any accident, he was never involved in any accident and he does not know who I am and just hang up? I would be left looking at my phone and thinking …… what the……?! I don’t exist to that guy? He almost killed me! I could relate this to what my counselor said about me not acknowledging that God was there with me before I was born since He created me.
During my days of atheist philosophy, I was suffering from selective amnesia. Many people around me were trying to tell me of something that I had no recollection of, they showed me the signs and I refused to listen. The motor cycle guy accepted what he had been told about the accident, he accepted the circumstantial evidence and even acknowledged my existence without questioning my motives when I called. I could have been an investigator from his health insurance company trying to confirm that his medical complaints were genuine! He just believed what I told him without question. AND so did I! I accepted the phone number given to me as his and all that he told me without question. So why does anyone need definite proof of the existence of God? Is the circumstantial evidence especially the inevitability of my death not sufficient?
I do feel enlightened and hope that there will be no more gruesome accidents featuring in my life.
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