Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 58
After a heart breaking ritual of remembrance and letting go over my dad’s death, I heaved a sigh of relief, wiped away the tears and went back for counseling.
Njeri: Where were we?
Counsellor: I was asking you about your fear of being the perfect daughter in God’s eyes and I told you that you will only find your missing something in Heaven.
Njeri: And to get to Heaven, I need to make myself the perfect daughter in God’s eyes, don’t I?
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: Is it enough if I at least try to make myself the perfect daughter in God’s eyes or do I have to be it? I cannot see how a human being can possibly be the perfect daughter in God’s eyes.
Counsellor: Well, what is perfection to you?
Njeri: Flawless, sinless, super human!
Counsellor: Perfection in God’s eyes means achieving your life’s purpose. No-one is flawless, sinless or super human. We all have our faults, even the men and women of God written about in the Holy Book were flawed, some in damning ways. All God asks of you is that you achieve your life’s purpose and you will be the perfect daughter in His eyes. There is nothing to fear in that because God has already equipped you with whatever you need to achieve your life’s purpose.
Njeri: I want my life’s purpose now to be about pleasing God and not my dad and my success formula to be to follow my passion (Jesus) believing that as a child of God, success is inevitable, am I on the right path?
Counsellor: You will know when you are on the right path if you experience a feeling of enlightenment every step of the way. Do you feel enlightened?
Njeri: Yes.
Counsellor: There you are.
Njeri: About this fear of the unknown, I must admit that I am afraid of the discoveries I am making about myself. They are unsettling because they are so unexpected. Before I started this quest for my missing ‘something’, I was so sure about myself!
Counsellor: Are you happier now with your life than before you started? That’s all that counts.
Njeri: I don’t know if I can call it happiness. I feel that the discoveries are good but the burden of responsibility for my life that they are placing on me is heavy! It’s so much easier to just leave everything to God. If someone has a car accident, you comfort yourself by saying it was God’s will yet it now seems to me that perhaps its more to do with that person than God! Its beginning to appear to me that apart from being responsible for the kind of life am living, I might also be responsible for the timing of my death. It seems that the kind of person that I am affects the timing of events and opportunities in my life including the time I die and how!
Counsellor: Were you afraid of anything before you started the quest?
Njeri: Not really. I was just curious about my life in the beginning. I thought this quest would be fun but now it has turned out to be a very serious thing! I am still wondering about what I would do if given the choice to go to Heaven right now and leave EVERYTHING behind. I honestly would not know what to do!
Counsellor: Well then, you better think real hard about that because death is an uninvited guest and can come calling any time. When death comes calling, you better be sure that you will be ready to let go of ALL the things of this world including your loved ones, if you want to see God.
Njeri: Wow, until now, I did not realize that letting go of the things of this world, the ones that distract you from your life’s purpose means also letting go of the attachment you have to your loved ones. No wonder it is said that so few of us will make it to Heaven. In reality, we all die alone. Too bad we do not live alone as well. I highly doubt that I am one of the chosen few who will make it to Heaven.
Counsellor: Well girl, that is your choice to make! The free choice that God gave you when He created you. The one He was thinking about on the day of rest. He gave you the power to rule over your life. He sent you passion to help you along the way. You know what you have to do to make it back home. Do you want to go back home or stay here?
Njeri: Of course I would like to go back home but I don’t know if I can make it! Its not even like climbing a mountain, the road is invisible to start with, the challenges are unpredictable, they get harder each time you graduate to a higher level of enlightenment…..! It reminds me of child birth! In order to avoid giving up on this quest which has become a monster, I better touch base with real life for a while. And I don’t think I need another counseling session outside of myself!
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 58
After a heart breaking ritual of remembrance and letting go over my dad’s death, I heaved a sigh of relief, wiped away the tears and went back for counseling.
Njeri: Where were we?
Counsellor: I was asking you about your fear of being the perfect daughter in God’s eyes and I told you that you will only find your missing something in Heaven.
Njeri: And to get to Heaven, I need to make myself the perfect daughter in God’s eyes, don’t I?
Counsellor: Yes.
Njeri: Is it enough if I at least try to make myself the perfect daughter in God’s eyes or do I have to be it? I cannot see how a human being can possibly be the perfect daughter in God’s eyes.
Counsellor: Well, what is perfection to you?
Njeri: Flawless, sinless, super human!
Counsellor: Perfection in God’s eyes means achieving your life’s purpose. No-one is flawless, sinless or super human. We all have our faults, even the men and women of God written about in the Holy Book were flawed, some in damning ways. All God asks of you is that you achieve your life’s purpose and you will be the perfect daughter in His eyes. There is nothing to fear in that because God has already equipped you with whatever you need to achieve your life’s purpose.
Njeri: I want my life’s purpose now to be about pleasing God and not my dad and my success formula to be to follow my passion (Jesus) believing that as a child of God, success is inevitable, am I on the right path?
Counsellor: You will know when you are on the right path if you experience a feeling of enlightenment every step of the way. Do you feel enlightened?
Njeri: Yes.
Counsellor: There you are.
Njeri: About this fear of the unknown, I must admit that I am afraid of the discoveries I am making about myself. They are unsettling because they are so unexpected. Before I started this quest for my missing ‘something’, I was so sure about myself!
Counsellor: Are you happier now with your life than before you started? That’s all that counts.
Njeri: I don’t know if I can call it happiness. I feel that the discoveries are good but the burden of responsibility for my life that they are placing on me is heavy! It’s so much easier to just leave everything to God. If someone has a car accident, you comfort yourself by saying it was God’s will yet it now seems to me that perhaps its more to do with that person than God! Its beginning to appear to me that apart from being responsible for the kind of life am living, I might also be responsible for the timing of my death. It seems that the kind of person that I am affects the timing of events and opportunities in my life including the time I die and how!
Counsellor: Were you afraid of anything before you started the quest?
Njeri: Not really. I was just curious about my life in the beginning. I thought this quest would be fun but now it has turned out to be a very serious thing! I am still wondering about what I would do if given the choice to go to Heaven right now and leave EVERYTHING behind. I honestly would not know what to do!
Counsellor: Well then, you better think real hard about that because death is an uninvited guest and can come calling any time. When death comes calling, you better be sure that you will be ready to let go of ALL the things of this world including your loved ones, if you want to see God.
Njeri: Wow, until now, I did not realize that letting go of the things of this world, the ones that distract you from your life’s purpose means also letting go of the attachment you have to your loved ones. No wonder it is said that so few of us will make it to Heaven. In reality, we all die alone. Too bad we do not live alone as well. I highly doubt that I am one of the chosen few who will make it to Heaven.
Counsellor: Well girl, that is your choice to make! The free choice that God gave you when He created you. The one He was thinking about on the day of rest. He gave you the power to rule over your life. He sent you passion to help you along the way. You know what you have to do to make it back home. Do you want to go back home or stay here?
Njeri: Of course I would like to go back home but I don’t know if I can make it! Its not even like climbing a mountain, the road is invisible to start with, the challenges are unpredictable, they get harder each time you graduate to a higher level of enlightenment…..! It reminds me of child birth! In order to avoid giving up on this quest which has become a monster, I better touch base with real life for a while. And I don’t think I need another counseling session outside of myself!
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