MIND BOGGLING - Introduction

MIND BOGGLING

By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

I took time out to think the other day. Yes, think. How many of us actually think about what we are doing and why we are doing it? Most of us are just floating around, going with the flow. I include myself in that group of floaters. During my thinking time, I considered two things:-

1. The state of my life at present;
2. Whether I am happy with my life.

I thought of the people in my life, my career, my personality and my material possessions. I concluded that I am actually happy with all of these things, yet, I still felt like there was something missing.

I realized that my concern was that I don’t know how I got to where I am now. Yes, I am happy, but why am I here and not …………well, somewhere else? I cannot say that I planned my life as it is today. The unpredictable things that have brought me here are more than those I planned and acted on.

Of course this starts with my being born. Goodness knows how that came about and how the events leading to it happened! So does this mean that my life as it is today has nothing to do with me? If I wasn’t consulted on my being born, why should I be bothered about what kind of life I lead?? Is the fact that I don’t know why or how I was born sufficient for me to get on with life without thinking about what kind of life I have?

After a long think over many things, I came to the conclusion that perhaps I was born in order to discover why I was born!! Once I discover why I was born, then I will find that missing “something”.

Then I asked myself, well …………… what about death?? What if it comes before I find out why I was born?? Have all those who have died found out why they were born and therefore died, even the unborn babies? I wish the dead could talk!!

You see, if the purpose of being born is to find out why you were born, then what is the purpose of death? We all know that death is an inevitable certainty the minute we enter into this world. From the day we are born, we start dying. In fact, life is all about dying!! These days when someone dies, I think to myself, “see you later alligator”, coz without a doubt, one day it will be me.

I gave up on finding out the purpose of death and decided to concentrate on finding out why I was born. I immediately hit another difficulty, how do I find out why I was born? Do I need to take time off and travel to some foreign land in search of the answer? Is there a place where people know why they were born? Or maybe I could put an ad in the papers or on the internet and hope that someone out there has the answer.

Finally, I realized that this business of thinking about life is too complicated. Once you start thinking, you end up with so many questions and no answers. I decided to simplify the process and at least just make a start at finding the answer. I thought that maybe the answer to my question, why I was born, lies in me living the life that I was born to live. If I look out for what choices I make and see how they unfold to bring me to a certain place in my life, I may come to a realization of where I am headed and I could make sure that the choices I make lead me to the place I want to go. Then, I might find the answer.

For a minute, I felt scared, like I was diving into a dark pool. What if I do find the answer? What will be left of life for me then? Am not ready to die! Oh, what the heck, am going to die anyway, here I go!