Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
I remember that in the Bible, when Moses was sent by God to free the people of Israel from slavery in Egypt, he asked God who he should tell them has sent him. God told him to tell them that I AM sent him. That God is WHO I AM. God is who I am as a perfect being. God is the sum total of us all in perfection. I have God in me. I have love and I have goodness in me.
We all do. All of us in our perfect state create one perfect being, God. We are connected to each other creating one humongous body called God. Some of us form the head, others the belly, others the arms, others the legs, others the lungs, others the toes, others the heart, others the intestines etc. That is why each of us is different, special, unique. Each of us has a peculiar function in this perfect body called God. All of us put together in our perfect state, like all the different parts of our bodies, make God.
As human beings, we are created in the image of God so that we can understand who God is and realize the importance of our roles as part of Him. Our true selves are a part of God but until we can see God, we cannot appreciate who we are and what we are. A finger does not know its importance until it can see itself as part of a body.
This revelation brought up a million different questions in my mind. So what happened to this body called God that made it necessary for me to come to earth and learn about God and what my function is in His body? Who is Jesus? What is all this about the world coming to an end? Why do we have families? Why are there men and women? Why am I attracted to my husband? How are children created? Why are there different races? Why do we have animals and plants and insects? Who is Satan? Do ghosts exist? What about demons? Where is hell or heaven? I almost gave up. I was not ready for this kind of attack on my brain. I had to apply emergency brakes, stop with the questions and take things one step at a time.
I decided to confine myself to the pursuit of my perfect being. I thought that if I worked towards becoming the perfect being that I have inside me, I would realize the purpose of my being born and find my missing ‘something’. I decided to take a closer look at my relationships with the people around me because I realized that if any part of me is wrong, I could not achieve the perfection I needed to fit into my special role in this perfect being known as God.
I was however disappointed and downcast about my quest. I felt like I was labouring in vain. Looking at others around me, I realized that God must be taking his last breathe in Intensive Care Unit because hardly anyone I knew was trying to discover what their role in the body of God was and to realize their perfect being. Unfortunately, like forgiveness, not every one is ready to give up the distractions that the world has to offer and look for God at the same time. Like the atheist philosopher that I used to be, or the prophets in the Bible who were subjected to persecution and ridicule or Jesus who was crucified, I was alone on this quest but I was passionately determined to find my missing ‘something’ so I kept at it. This was a fire I could not put out until it had burned to the last spark. My quest had gone out of my control. I could not stop there. I was fascinated by the discoveries I was making and felt even more excited about finding the missing ‘something’.
I felt like my mind had traveled thousands of miles yet my body was still where I started. Apparently, the ‘something’ I was looking for was within me so my body did not need to go anywhere to find it. It is my mind that needed to expand within itself, to explore the uncharted areas.
To start with, I picked up the Bible I had put down and decided to read it from the first page. My approach to the Bible was now based on God being inside the people in the Bible, not outside them. At the back of my mind was a picture of a huge model of a perfect man, like one of the sculptures of the Greek gods with a tight six pack cubed belly, muscular body, a hunk. This guy is God and He is divided into innumerable tiny little pieces like the cells in my body and I am one of those little pieces. The other little pieces are everyone else and in God we are all alive. I placed myself inside God’s head thinking that I must be part of His brain since I was thinking unlike everyone else around me. Every time the Bible mentioned God, I understood the reference to be either to the whole perfect hunk that we all form or the perfect individual that each of us is.
I also resolved to start going to church. Hypocrites or no hypocrites, I thought that I needed to do that for the sake of my children. And not everyone in church is a hypocrite. My children needed to search for their God and find out why they were born. Sunday school was a good starting point in planting the seed of curiosity that would assist me when I tried to explain my understanding of God and the revelations I had experienced to them.
Next, I looked at the guy I was married to and asked myself whether I made the right choice. I mean was my relationship with this guy a means or an obstacle to my pursuit of God inside me, a perfect me? Was the relationship making me a good person, a loving person or not? Did I need to make any changes?
I was a little afraid to consider these questions because I was afraid of what I may find out and what changes I may have to make going by the changes I had made so far. I stopped to think about my options seriously and saw that if I did not address my relationship with my husband, I would be cheating myself that all was well and I could not live with that.
The passion I had for finding my missing ‘something’ was like a tsunami. The fear of divorce was a drop of water. So I surged on.
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
I remember that in the Bible, when Moses was sent by God to free the people of Israel from slavery in Egypt, he asked God who he should tell them has sent him. God told him to tell them that I AM sent him. That God is WHO I AM. God is who I am as a perfect being. God is the sum total of us all in perfection. I have God in me. I have love and I have goodness in me.
We all do. All of us in our perfect state create one perfect being, God. We are connected to each other creating one humongous body called God. Some of us form the head, others the belly, others the arms, others the legs, others the lungs, others the toes, others the heart, others the intestines etc. That is why each of us is different, special, unique. Each of us has a peculiar function in this perfect body called God. All of us put together in our perfect state, like all the different parts of our bodies, make God.
As human beings, we are created in the image of God so that we can understand who God is and realize the importance of our roles as part of Him. Our true selves are a part of God but until we can see God, we cannot appreciate who we are and what we are. A finger does not know its importance until it can see itself as part of a body.
This revelation brought up a million different questions in my mind. So what happened to this body called God that made it necessary for me to come to earth and learn about God and what my function is in His body? Who is Jesus? What is all this about the world coming to an end? Why do we have families? Why are there men and women? Why am I attracted to my husband? How are children created? Why are there different races? Why do we have animals and plants and insects? Who is Satan? Do ghosts exist? What about demons? Where is hell or heaven? I almost gave up. I was not ready for this kind of attack on my brain. I had to apply emergency brakes, stop with the questions and take things one step at a time.
I decided to confine myself to the pursuit of my perfect being. I thought that if I worked towards becoming the perfect being that I have inside me, I would realize the purpose of my being born and find my missing ‘something’. I decided to take a closer look at my relationships with the people around me because I realized that if any part of me is wrong, I could not achieve the perfection I needed to fit into my special role in this perfect being known as God.
I was however disappointed and downcast about my quest. I felt like I was labouring in vain. Looking at others around me, I realized that God must be taking his last breathe in Intensive Care Unit because hardly anyone I knew was trying to discover what their role in the body of God was and to realize their perfect being. Unfortunately, like forgiveness, not every one is ready to give up the distractions that the world has to offer and look for God at the same time. Like the atheist philosopher that I used to be, or the prophets in the Bible who were subjected to persecution and ridicule or Jesus who was crucified, I was alone on this quest but I was passionately determined to find my missing ‘something’ so I kept at it. This was a fire I could not put out until it had burned to the last spark. My quest had gone out of my control. I could not stop there. I was fascinated by the discoveries I was making and felt even more excited about finding the missing ‘something’.
I felt like my mind had traveled thousands of miles yet my body was still where I started. Apparently, the ‘something’ I was looking for was within me so my body did not need to go anywhere to find it. It is my mind that needed to expand within itself, to explore the uncharted areas.
To start with, I picked up the Bible I had put down and decided to read it from the first page. My approach to the Bible was now based on God being inside the people in the Bible, not outside them. At the back of my mind was a picture of a huge model of a perfect man, like one of the sculptures of the Greek gods with a tight six pack cubed belly, muscular body, a hunk. This guy is God and He is divided into innumerable tiny little pieces like the cells in my body and I am one of those little pieces. The other little pieces are everyone else and in God we are all alive. I placed myself inside God’s head thinking that I must be part of His brain since I was thinking unlike everyone else around me. Every time the Bible mentioned God, I understood the reference to be either to the whole perfect hunk that we all form or the perfect individual that each of us is.
I also resolved to start going to church. Hypocrites or no hypocrites, I thought that I needed to do that for the sake of my children. And not everyone in church is a hypocrite. My children needed to search for their God and find out why they were born. Sunday school was a good starting point in planting the seed of curiosity that would assist me when I tried to explain my understanding of God and the revelations I had experienced to them.
Next, I looked at the guy I was married to and asked myself whether I made the right choice. I mean was my relationship with this guy a means or an obstacle to my pursuit of God inside me, a perfect me? Was the relationship making me a good person, a loving person or not? Did I need to make any changes?
I was a little afraid to consider these questions because I was afraid of what I may find out and what changes I may have to make going by the changes I had made so far. I stopped to think about my options seriously and saw that if I did not address my relationship with my husband, I would be cheating myself that all was well and I could not live with that.
The passion I had for finding my missing ‘something’ was like a tsunami. The fear of divorce was a drop of water. So I surged on.
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