Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
The refusal to recognize that yearning inside you makes you start behaving in weird ways which you are unable to understand.
Many of us have thought that we have fallen in love with someone in our past and when we break up with that person and meet them at a later date, we ask ourselves what the hell we were thinking. Others spend a few hours with several containers of alcohol and some cigarettes and maybe some white powders or green grass and the morning after, we will be asking ourselves, what the?! Others will go on a rampage jumping in and out of bed with whoever is willing not caring about who we are hurting completely oblivious to the fact that we are hurting ourselves the most exposing ourselves to unimaginable risks. Others eat more than they need only to later realize that the yearning remains. Others visit holy places, go to temple, church, mosque, synagogue, read holy books, preach, go to religious classes and retreats to learn about God.
Very few of us recognize this yearning as something real and something inside, not outside of us. We imagine that that thing is out there somewhere and we go out looking using whichever methods we think suit us. When all is said and done, until we come back and look inside ourselves, we will never satisfy that yearning.
When I considered the question of God and sat for long hours thinking about Him, I realized that God is love. I said that love is a state of mind, not a feeling. God is that person I think about when I think of a perfect me. God is who I am in perfection. I realized that there is a part of me inside me which is perfect and which I yearn to be connected to. All of us have this perfect us in us. When I love someone, I recognize that perfect part of them inside them. I don’t care about the outside of them and how it makes me feel. It is what I think of them that matters.
That perfect person inside of me knows me inside out and I cannot hide from Him. He knows and understands me completely. He created this body that I am in with the intention of showing me who I really am. He is only visible in this world through me. I am created in His image. When I die, He ceases to be and I am united with Him. He is not a human being. I suppose the best word to describe Him by is Holy Spirit.
God, my perfect self, is good. When I do things that make me feel good, I am connecting with God. That is why I was looking for good things to do to make me feel good. Giving makes me feel good. Sharing makes me feel good. Exercising makes me feel good. Working for myself makes me feel good. Pursuing my passions makes me feel good. Having faith in myself makes me feel good. Spending time with those I love makes me feel good. Laughter makes me feel good.
We all know what is good for us. No one outside of us needs to counsel us and tell us how to solve our problems. Refusing to believe and acknowledge God inside us, refusing to act in accordance with the directions given by the perfect you, refusing to do good, attracts diseases the origin of some of which are scientifically unexplainable and which spread and affect everyone around us sending the whole world into a panic.
Allowing that flesh eating microorganism to flourish inside you not only affects you but also affects those around you especially your loved ones who are already connected to the perfect you. It will cause you death at an early age. It will send you on wild goose chases. It will blind you with jealousy, selfishness, self-centredness, pride, fear and the like. It is a dangerous thing.
So, I can definitely say that changing from an atheist to believing in God was the most positive change I made.
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
The refusal to recognize that yearning inside you makes you start behaving in weird ways which you are unable to understand.
Many of us have thought that we have fallen in love with someone in our past and when we break up with that person and meet them at a later date, we ask ourselves what the hell we were thinking. Others spend a few hours with several containers of alcohol and some cigarettes and maybe some white powders or green grass and the morning after, we will be asking ourselves, what the?! Others will go on a rampage jumping in and out of bed with whoever is willing not caring about who we are hurting completely oblivious to the fact that we are hurting ourselves the most exposing ourselves to unimaginable risks. Others eat more than they need only to later realize that the yearning remains. Others visit holy places, go to temple, church, mosque, synagogue, read holy books, preach, go to religious classes and retreats to learn about God.
Very few of us recognize this yearning as something real and something inside, not outside of us. We imagine that that thing is out there somewhere and we go out looking using whichever methods we think suit us. When all is said and done, until we come back and look inside ourselves, we will never satisfy that yearning.
When I considered the question of God and sat for long hours thinking about Him, I realized that God is love. I said that love is a state of mind, not a feeling. God is that person I think about when I think of a perfect me. God is who I am in perfection. I realized that there is a part of me inside me which is perfect and which I yearn to be connected to. All of us have this perfect us in us. When I love someone, I recognize that perfect part of them inside them. I don’t care about the outside of them and how it makes me feel. It is what I think of them that matters.
That perfect person inside of me knows me inside out and I cannot hide from Him. He knows and understands me completely. He created this body that I am in with the intention of showing me who I really am. He is only visible in this world through me. I am created in His image. When I die, He ceases to be and I am united with Him. He is not a human being. I suppose the best word to describe Him by is Holy Spirit.
God, my perfect self, is good. When I do things that make me feel good, I am connecting with God. That is why I was looking for good things to do to make me feel good. Giving makes me feel good. Sharing makes me feel good. Exercising makes me feel good. Working for myself makes me feel good. Pursuing my passions makes me feel good. Having faith in myself makes me feel good. Spending time with those I love makes me feel good. Laughter makes me feel good.
We all know what is good for us. No one outside of us needs to counsel us and tell us how to solve our problems. Refusing to believe and acknowledge God inside us, refusing to act in accordance with the directions given by the perfect you, refusing to do good, attracts diseases the origin of some of which are scientifically unexplainable and which spread and affect everyone around us sending the whole world into a panic.
Allowing that flesh eating microorganism to flourish inside you not only affects you but also affects those around you especially your loved ones who are already connected to the perfect you. It will cause you death at an early age. It will send you on wild goose chases. It will blind you with jealousy, selfishness, self-centredness, pride, fear and the like. It is a dangerous thing.
So, I can definitely say that changing from an atheist to believing in God was the most positive change I made.
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