Mind Boggling - Chapter 1

Mind Boggling

By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

I had made a decision to take a critical look at my life and try to take control of where my life is headed in an effort to discover the reason I was born. I was happy with my life but I didn’t know how I got to where I am so I felt that something was amiss.

I don’t know why, but the first thing I thought of looking into is, my driving. I realized that I am a typical Kenyan driver to whom giving way is painful, to say the least. In tandem with my fellow motorists, I made sure to keep as close as possible to the car ahead of me to ensure that no-one can cut in front of me in traffic. Of course when I needed to change lanes, I had to literally push my way in and force the car behind to brake suddenly.

I was driving the other day and saw this guy on a bike fall in the middle of the road. He had loaded his bike with some groceries and I suppose they were too heavy. I was appalled to observe what heartless, mean drivers we are. We all just drove past him and some even came close to hitting him and had to swerve to avoid it while he was trying to lift his bike and groceries up to get back on his way. I thought that I should have stopped my car, put on hazard lights and walked over to help him. But immediately I thought about how I would attract attention; a lady stopping her car to help a cyclist lift some heavy boxes! It would probably have shamed some men driving past but … I don’t like attention so of course I drove past too.

Well, I resolved that if am ever going to succeed in my quest for the reason I was born, I have to change a few things in my life starting with those that make me feel guilty or mean towards others. I thought I was happy! Happy being such a mean, heartless person? I don’t think so!! Ironically, I was happy to realize that my earlier thought of being happy was an illusion because at least now I had found something to explain why I felt that ‘something’ was still missing. I read somewhere that ‘being happy is the ability to ignore your imperfections’, how true! I started giving way while driving and I realized that in fact, giving way makes no difference to the time it takes me to get to where am going. In any case, I don’t control the entire traffic system, many a times in my hurry I have got stuck in some unexpected traffic snarl up and got late and still survived!

The difference giving way made is that I am now a happy driver. It feels great giving way and seeing someone wave a thank you. Some people give a thumbs-up. Giving way on our roads is so rare that when you give way, people are extremely grateful; if they could, some would stop their cars and come give me a hug! In the end, the curses and dislike I used to feel for my fellow drivers who are delaying my progress along traffic is no more and has been replaced with a good feeling. I can’t describe the feeling; you try giving way, even once and you’ll feel it. Rather than seeing your fellow motorists as obstacles, start seeing them as people like you, who are just trying to get to where they are going.

But I must warn you, giving way to matatu drivers, bus drivers and truck drivers is a huge challenge! For them, I have to tell myself that giving them way makes me better than them and force myself to think about their passengers who are not at fault.

I won’t lie and say that it’s easy to give but once you make a habit of it, you forget that you are giving. It just comes naturally. But this only happens eventually and takes a lot of patience with oneself.

Now am at a place where my earlier fear of starting this search for the reason I was born has been magnified by five hundred. Why? It seems that am changing!! For starters, if I start seeing things differently from before, what will happen to my relationships? Can I change who I am and still maintain the same friends? I really don’t like how THAT thought makes me feel.