Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 74
My relationship with the Christian God was faltering. I asked myself why it is that no-one I know thinks like me and I thought that perhaps I am in the wrong religion. Perhaps I belong in scientology where life is analyzed scientifically. Scientologists would probably be more willing to understand my theory of spiritual identities than Christians.
If God is Love, why can’t the devil be selfishness? If God is Love and I am created in His image, why can’t I be Hope? Only a Christian can explain the difference in these concepts, if there is any.
I have been examining my relationship with God and wondering whether it is a good relationship or a bad one. How do you tell if you are in a good or bad relationship?
I was fearing that I was about to break up with God for the second time. My fear was derived from the fact that a relationship which results in people breaking up and getting back together again repeatedly cannot be a good one. Before deciding whether or not to break up with the Christian God, I had to find out whether my relationship with Him was good or bad because I knew that whatever I decided would affect my life in a serious way.
I decided to examine the relationships I have with people in my life which I consider to be good relationships. Of course my relationship with my husband was one of them but the fact of chemistry and attraction made that relationship unsuitable for a proper comparison with the one I have with God. After racking my brain for a while, I found just the right relationship to examine.
I have a partner in my law firm. He is a Kenyan of Indian origin and runs his own law firm in a different city. I hooked up with my partner about the same time as I hooked up with my husband. We started our partnership in July and I got married in August of the same year. I am not a racist or a tribalist. I love a variety of people in my life. I am a Kikuyu married to a Luo and partnering with an Indian-Kenyan. I believe that variety is the spice of life.
The relationship I have had with my partner has undoubtedly been a good one but I have never stopped to wonder why it has been good. I looked at the good things about our relationship and realized that distance helps us give each other space so that our levels of responsibility in the firm vary significantly. Just like my relationship with God. I am the one here in this life doing all the living while God is at a distance allowing me the freedom to think but giving me the assurance that I can call on Him. My partner is there when I need him otherwise he is busy doing his own things. The fact that we were not intending to work in the same office was a big plus towards us deciding to become partners. It was a partnership of convenience. Coincidentally, he was looking to open an office in Nairobi at about the same time I had had enough of employment. Our needs converged and we seemed to agree on what it was that we wanted. Another coincidence in our lives is that my partner and my daughter were both born on a Monday 30th October in the morning albeit several decades apart in years.
I can confidently say that my relationship with my partner has improved both our lives immensely. Everything has just seemed to fall into place with us both accepting our roles as if we were born to play them and our expectations have been greatly exceeded.
Am quite certain that any astrologer would confirm that the year 2003 when I got married and partnered up was a lucky relationship year for me.
My relationship with my partner has confirmed to me that the essence of a good relationship is maturity. A relationship in which you are able to deal with conflicts and disagreements in a mature manner and which leaves you feeling more grown up than before you entered into it is undoubtedly a good relationship. A bad relationship is one in which you are unable to resolve a conflict or disagreement in a mature manner and which leaves you feeling vengeful and bitter.
Is my relationship with God a good one or a bad one? Do I feel more mature now than I did when I entered into my relationship with God? Unfortunately for me, the answer is an obvious yes. I definitely feel more mature in a spiritual sense and I would not want to let go of that maturity. Starting afresh is not an attractive option but running away from the relationship in order to satisfy my doubts and seemingly free myself from the burden of trying to understand who I am and where my life is headed is an appealing option.
I am tired of thinking about my life. I wish I could just go back to being a floater. I now know the true meaning of the saying that ‘ignorance is bliss’. Knowing God is absolutely not the work of an ignorant person as philosophy would have us believe. Unlike any other type of knowledge, the knowledge of God tests the human mind to its limits and beyond.
I have now reached a stage on my journey where I have realized that I must let go of conventional thinking and let my imagination take me as far into the spiritual world of imagination as I dare to go. With my Bible in my hand and God leading the way, I guess I will succeed.
Conquering your doubts at this level of enlightenment is no easy task. I must keep reminding myself that death is inevitable and my final goal is to get to Heaven. A goal that I have set my mind clearly on.
Christians are always saying that with God ANYTHING is possible. So I have decided to let myself go for the unimaginable and let God show me how possible anything really is with Him.
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta
Chapter 74
My relationship with the Christian God was faltering. I asked myself why it is that no-one I know thinks like me and I thought that perhaps I am in the wrong religion. Perhaps I belong in scientology where life is analyzed scientifically. Scientologists would probably be more willing to understand my theory of spiritual identities than Christians.
If God is Love, why can’t the devil be selfishness? If God is Love and I am created in His image, why can’t I be Hope? Only a Christian can explain the difference in these concepts, if there is any.
I have been examining my relationship with God and wondering whether it is a good relationship or a bad one. How do you tell if you are in a good or bad relationship?
I was fearing that I was about to break up with God for the second time. My fear was derived from the fact that a relationship which results in people breaking up and getting back together again repeatedly cannot be a good one. Before deciding whether or not to break up with the Christian God, I had to find out whether my relationship with Him was good or bad because I knew that whatever I decided would affect my life in a serious way.
I decided to examine the relationships I have with people in my life which I consider to be good relationships. Of course my relationship with my husband was one of them but the fact of chemistry and attraction made that relationship unsuitable for a proper comparison with the one I have with God. After racking my brain for a while, I found just the right relationship to examine.
I have a partner in my law firm. He is a Kenyan of Indian origin and runs his own law firm in a different city. I hooked up with my partner about the same time as I hooked up with my husband. We started our partnership in July and I got married in August of the same year. I am not a racist or a tribalist. I love a variety of people in my life. I am a Kikuyu married to a Luo and partnering with an Indian-Kenyan. I believe that variety is the spice of life.
The relationship I have had with my partner has undoubtedly been a good one but I have never stopped to wonder why it has been good. I looked at the good things about our relationship and realized that distance helps us give each other space so that our levels of responsibility in the firm vary significantly. Just like my relationship with God. I am the one here in this life doing all the living while God is at a distance allowing me the freedom to think but giving me the assurance that I can call on Him. My partner is there when I need him otherwise he is busy doing his own things. The fact that we were not intending to work in the same office was a big plus towards us deciding to become partners. It was a partnership of convenience. Coincidentally, he was looking to open an office in Nairobi at about the same time I had had enough of employment. Our needs converged and we seemed to agree on what it was that we wanted. Another coincidence in our lives is that my partner and my daughter were both born on a Monday 30th October in the morning albeit several decades apart in years.
I can confidently say that my relationship with my partner has improved both our lives immensely. Everything has just seemed to fall into place with us both accepting our roles as if we were born to play them and our expectations have been greatly exceeded.
Am quite certain that any astrologer would confirm that the year 2003 when I got married and partnered up was a lucky relationship year for me.
My relationship with my partner has confirmed to me that the essence of a good relationship is maturity. A relationship in which you are able to deal with conflicts and disagreements in a mature manner and which leaves you feeling more grown up than before you entered into it is undoubtedly a good relationship. A bad relationship is one in which you are unable to resolve a conflict or disagreement in a mature manner and which leaves you feeling vengeful and bitter.
Is my relationship with God a good one or a bad one? Do I feel more mature now than I did when I entered into my relationship with God? Unfortunately for me, the answer is an obvious yes. I definitely feel more mature in a spiritual sense and I would not want to let go of that maturity. Starting afresh is not an attractive option but running away from the relationship in order to satisfy my doubts and seemingly free myself from the burden of trying to understand who I am and where my life is headed is an appealing option.
I am tired of thinking about my life. I wish I could just go back to being a floater. I now know the true meaning of the saying that ‘ignorance is bliss’. Knowing God is absolutely not the work of an ignorant person as philosophy would have us believe. Unlike any other type of knowledge, the knowledge of God tests the human mind to its limits and beyond.
I have now reached a stage on my journey where I have realized that I must let go of conventional thinking and let my imagination take me as far into the spiritual world of imagination as I dare to go. With my Bible in my hand and God leading the way, I guess I will succeed.
Conquering your doubts at this level of enlightenment is no easy task. I must keep reminding myself that death is inevitable and my final goal is to get to Heaven. A goal that I have set my mind clearly on.
Christians are always saying that with God ANYTHING is possible. So I have decided to let myself go for the unimaginable and let God show me how possible anything really is with Him.
4 comments:
But without faith its impossible to please God,for he who comes to God must believe that He is,and that He is arewarder of those who diligently seek Him.Hebrew 11:6.
Njeri,
You continue to enlighten!
Your writting is so wonderful...i wish i was close to you to see you everyday. I think we all need someone who thinks like you in their lives. The things you talk about seem to be way above what i would have ever thought....Lucky David gets to see you everyday! I hope he knows how much we envy him.
Thanks Liza, your absence from my life is one of the reasons I write. There are so many things in our lives that we wish could be different. I believe that our heart's desires can be fulfilled if we all just tried to do the right thing always. Keep reading.
thanks for ur enlightening articles
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