Chapter 49

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 49

Finding your passion is one thing, obsessing over finding your passion is another. For the last few days I was obsessed with having found my passion and deciding to follow it. Confusion abound in my mind but finally I pulled through. It has not been easy changing my perspective of life so drastically as I have done especially on the issue of God. But I am happy about having done so and look forward to seeing my passion filled future unfold before my eyes.

I do not expect it to be easy but it has never been easy anyway. I think it will be easier now that as far as possible all my choices will be well thought out.

Now that I am back to sobriety, let me make my point clear to you. My question to you is this. Don’t you want to know who you are, what your purpose is here on earth and why you do the things you do? Who does not want to know this? Even one who is ashamed of his/her past, should be making changes now so that s/he can have a shameless future.

Death is not final. Many of us believe this. Even if death is final to you, as long as you are alive, you may as well make the best of your life!

This is what I think. I think that the difference between Heaven and Hell is simple. The people in Heaven know who they are and their purpose and those in Hell do not! And Hell is not a place anyone is sent to. It is the automatic result of a purposeless life. If you do not know yourself and your purpose, the knowledge of God will be too advanced for your small mind to comprehend.

It does not take much to know who you are and realize your purpose. All you need to do is think. Exploit the free mind you were born with. Realize that not knowing yourself and your purpose is a dangerous thing. It makes you wear a mask and pretend to be someone you are not. Many of us mask our insecurities caused by our lack of knowledge of ourselves and our purpose using weapons such as bad tempers, pride, inferiority complexes, oppressive behaviour, defensive behaviour, abusive behaviour, self pity, addictions and the like.

The choice here is as follows: You either choose to know yourself and your purpose and thus live a transparent life open for everyone to see or you choose to not know yourself and your purpose and thus live an insecure, secretive life. Which will it be? And why?

Do not fear. Life is an illusion which ends when you die and reality hits home. Do not attach yourself to the people here on earth and worry about their opinions of you. At death, its each man for himself and God for all of us. God should be foremost in your mind when deciding what kind of life you want to have.

A purposeful life, which is what a passion filled life is, requires a minute assessment of all aspects of your life from the bed you wake up in to the clothes you wear, the way you style your hair, your overall appearance, how you treat others around you, your eating habits, your sleeping habits, what you do with your work and your money, your relationship with your parents, your relationship with your children and your siblings, your marriage or partnership, your addictions etc.

After you have assessed your life, you need to assess your character and work at building on the attributes that will help you find your passion like self-confidence, patience, tolerance, boldness, curiosity, belief, loyalty, conviction, forgiveness, honesty, determination, ambition, initiative etc.

In order to build these characteristics, you have to be ready to make a DARING move in your life. For instance, if you are not happy with your job, change it; if you are not happy with your marriage, sit down with your spouse and discuss what changes are necessary; if you are not happy with anyone in your life, sit them down and address the issue on your mind without being confrontational; if you are not happy with your car, change it; if you are not happy with your house, change it;, if you are holding onto past hurt, address it and let it go.

Unless you surgically clean out your mind and justify everything in your life, you are blocking yourself from realizing your full potential and finding contentment.

Christians who want to see Jesus and have Him lead them into Heaven to meet with their God are required to present themselves as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God. Our bodies do not make it to Heaven. It is our minds that matter. A mind filled with thoughts that relate to worldly purposes will remain attached to the world even at death. To get to Heaven, your mind should be filled with thoughts that relate to who you will be at your death when worldly purposes cease to be of any significance.

I have come to a realization that timing is everything in everything in life. The choices you make in your life in regard to the kind of person you are and the things you do determine the timing of events in your life and thus, the people you meet and the opportunities open to you.

For instance, if you are a mean bad tempered person, most people will keep away from you and you will miss the opportunity of getting to know someone who may have an association with the love of your life! If your business dealings are dishonest, you waste time planning your lies and end up missing out on business dealings with honest people that are probably more lucrative and definitely less stressful.

Your thoughts are what you act on and your actions are dependent on what information you have available to you. Do not limit your choices by refusing to just think about who you are and what your purpose is in life.

One of the choices I have made to start off my passion filled life is which presidential candidate to vote for this year. Am certain that my choice will get me where I want to go because as I said, the Bible has the answers to all your questions. If you think and look hard enough, you will find them.

Chapter 48

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 48

And then there is the song that tells it all and I have always loved that song from the first time I heard it and now I know why. It’s sang by a guy I would love to meet called Michael Smith.

It goes like this (and I know it off head):-

‘When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come. Longing just to bring, something that’s of worth, that will bless your heart. I’ll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required, you search much deeper within, through the way things appear, you’re looking into my heart’

The chorus, is the clincher:-

‘Am going back to the heart of worship, and its all about you, its all about you, Jesus. Am sorry Lord for the thing I have made it when IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU, all about you, JESUS.’

‘King of endless worth, no-one could express how much you deserve, though am weak and poor, all I have is yours, every single breath. I’ll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself, is not what you have required, you search much deeper within, through the way things appear, you’re looking into my heart.’

Back to chorus.

You have to buy his album and play that song out loud and sing with Michael Smith like I did, unknowingly, when I started writing. Now I know exactly what that song means to me. What does it mean to you? Can you understand it?

The music and all that is stripped away is the nonsense you are carrying around in your mind. Realize you have a longing to pursue your passions and thus bless your heart. And make it more than a song which is not enough. Search deeper within you, think DEEP! And see through the way things appear. Look inside your heart.

And find that life is all about following your passion.

So do you see that someone died yesterday? And I have been born again?

I am making it all about Jesus, my passion, my saviour, my EVERYTHING.

Make it about your Jesus as well. And let us make the world a better place.

Chapter 47

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 47

There is a song that am certain every Christian who has ever gone to church knows and has been singing it like an idiot.

The song is: “I have decided to follow Jesus, I have decided, to follow Jesus, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. The world behind me, The cross before me, The world behind me, The cross before me, The world behind me, The cross before me, no turning back, no turning back.’

Sing with me please and see how stupid you have been not knowing who Jesus is. Jesus is passion. He will set you free. And decide to follow Him and leave the world behind you.

So sing that song LIKE YOU MEAN IT!! And follow your passion, Jesus.

Chapter 46

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 46

WHO I AM is God. I am acquiring a better understanding of who I am. A better understanding of God, my creator.

Jesus is your passion. Pursue Him and start acting on the thoughts that God planted in you at birth. When Jesus comes calling, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND SEE JESUS. Remember that He comes like a thief in the dead of night. So to feel Him inside you, you must focus, think deep, place aside the fear that makes you think you are too small to do it and the pride that makes you feel like you are too big to do it.

Think deep and bring out Jesus in you. Bring out your passion. And when it comes, pursue it like your life depends on it, which it does.

Shallow thinking, moderate thinking, minimum thinking will take you to hell. Only deep thinking will get you to heaven the place of knowledge.

Jesus is the light of the world. Jesus came to save the world. Realize who Jesus is. Jesus is passion. God saw you wandering around holding onto the things of this world like a fool and sent His son Jesus to save you from the things of this world that were preventing you from finding your Tree of Life.

I am still me but my mind has expanded a notch and I am thinking differently. I am discovering the thoughts that God planted in my mind which will make me the great person that I yearn to be. I am no longer blinded by mean driving, hard heartedness, money and all the things that were holding me back from graduation i.e. finding my tree of life. I passed my exams this time round. But there is more to come.

ALL the events that occur in your life happen for a reason. They are there to teach you something. In order for you to see this, you must of necessity let go of all those things which have been preventing you from pursuing your passions. YOU MUST! And no-one can tell you what those things are. You already know what they are. Stop with the shallow thinking adopt a deep thinking approach to EVERYTHING around you. Justify everything that you are doing in your life to yourself do not accept unanswered questions. You are a light and as you are, you are capable of achieving greatness in your own eyes. But that will NEVER happen until you ask questions about your life and why you do the things you do and if necessary, change what you realize is wrong. Realize that the things you are doing are the ones that are making your life what it is!

Take time off and think about:-

1. The state of your life at present.
2. Whether you are happy with your life.

Do not allow yourself to do ANYTHING AT ALL unless you know why you are doing it. If you do things without thinking, you will be trapped in a life that is not yours. In other words, you will end up in HELL. So free yourself from that life that is not yours and pursue the one that is. You will be mesmerized by the result. Like I am now.

Do not go back to sleep when Jesus (your passion) comes calling in the dead of night. Come out of the house and see Jesus. He will set you free. By that I mean that when you feel that strong urge to do something, i.e. when Jesus (your passion) comes calling, DO IT, i.e. come out of the house and see Jesus. See your passion. Do not let the fear of the night i.e. the fear of death, which is inevitable, the fear of not having enough money, the fear of what others will think, the fear of making a fool of yourself, any fear whatsoever, stop you from what YOU HAVE TO DO.

Realize that in the same way as you have to eat, you have to drink, you have to go to the loo, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS.

Following your passions is a matter of life and death. If you want life, you must let your passions flow. If you want death, then continue doing what you are doing without questioning it, like the real FOOL that you are. You are driving on the highway to hell where there is no understanding.

Chapter 45

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 45

What does your mother do for you? She gives birth to you. So if you want to be reborn and come to a full understanding of who you are and what your purpose in life is, you need to go back to her. She has the answers for you. You do not have to see her like I did yesterday, you only need to think deeply about her. And then you will see her as who she really is. If you think that you have wronged her IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, correct that wrong immediately. If she has wronged you, forgive her immediately. You will make a connection with her similar to the one that was made when God breathed life into you when you were in her womb.

The same applies to your father. You are part of him too and if you have any wrong things between yourself and your father address that wrong immediately otherwise, you cannot graduate to a life of passion.

Your parents are the starting point to a life of passion. Just like they are the starting point to your life here on earth.

HONOUR YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER THAT YOUR DAYS MAY BE LONG UPON THE LAND WHICH THE LORD YOUR GOD IS GIVING YOU.

Until you have complied with this commandment, the thoughts that God planted in your mind at birth which are meant to give you the life that you were born to live, will remain thoughts. They cannot ever become actions which create for you the life you were born to live. Make peace with your parents dead or alive. IT IS ALL IN YOUR MIND. Forgive them and forgive yourself for not knowing better. Accept that you have learned a valuable lesson and MOVE ON.

I opened the Book of Life, the Bible, and read Chapter 1 and I realized that this world and all that is in it was formed inside my mind while I was still in my mother’s womb. I am a light. My body is a humanly form of what I look like in my real form as a light. My body makes me visible to myself and others here on earth.

When I was with my mother, I imagined myself inside her womb being formed and I realized that during that time, all the things I see now, were instilled in me. Those who will understand this concept the best are those who were able to understand the movie ‘Matrix’ which I wasn’t able to! Life after all is an illusion and the sooner you wake up to that realization, the better for you.

It is all in your mind. Your mind is the Garden of Eden. God planted everything in your mind at birth and what you see is what He planted. Some of it is not real. It is an illusion. He divided the day from the night i.e. He divided the real from the unreal. He planted something real in your mind and you must free yourself and see that real thing.

HE PLANTED THE TREE OF LIFE. FIND IT!

I have decided that I need to read the Bible a lot more than I was doing. It has all the answers I need to find my missing something and be completed and if it were possible for me to read it all in one go, I would. But, I know that the events that will occur in my life from this day on, will be of a higher class than the one I was in before I started writing and as I read on, many more complicated revelations will be given to me and I have to familiarize myself with the Bible so that I understand what I need to do. This is how life works. The Bible is your text book, the theory part of your lessons and the events in your life are the practical part of the lessons.

I have graduated, been reborn but I am still here on earth, I am not dead and I have a passionate project to work on which am certain will bring me to an even better understanding of WHO I AM. And I cannot wait to see the reality once I have learned all the lessons. It’s exciting.

Nobody I love died yesterday. What happened is that I graduated. And it feels like attending a funeral. Letting go of all the nonsense in your life is not easy. You are so attached to it, you believe its real AND IT IS NOT. Like me and thinking that someone was going to die. Now I know that what I was feeling was my mind telling me that I had crossed into a new realm of understanding. Moving on requires a spiritual funeral.

You are a fool not to let go because what lies ahead, what you are missing, is incredible but until you free yourself from the nonsense of mean driving, not forgiving, worrying about money and ALL that stupid stuff, you are on the highway to hell. Which is where I was and now I have turned around and changed direction. We are stupidly holding onto the things of this world completely oblivious to where we came from and where we are going.

As children grow, they graduate from one class to another and during this process, what happens to them? They become cleverer. They acquire a better understanding of the world around them and who they are. In the same way, the search for my missing something has brought me to a place now where I have acquired a better understanding of the world around me and WHO I AM. Such that I can actually see things differently now. Like I have acquired some information which was not available to me previously.

When you graduate a class, the learning you undergo in the next class is a gradual process. You have to read books and sit exams in lessons for that class in order to learn what you need to learn. That is where I am now. I have been reborn into this world. I have found my TREE OF LIFE.

Chapter 44

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 44

It does not get any easier thinking about what am thinking because, I still feel like I will be attending a funeral soon. Then I realized that if anyone is ready to die today, it is my mother because the rest of the people in my life had still not found their passion and were wandering around like fools worshipping economic development. The other candidate for readiness for death is my husband. I looked at him leaving for work today and thought, what if its him? I immediately told God, NO WAY!! He even forgot to tell me something and did not remember it. Imagine how I would be left wondering what that was he wanted to tell me. Could I move on from there? I don’t want to know.

I think my mother has served her purpose. My husband still has quite a lot of economic development to do and I needed him now more than ever if I am to survive this quest. Oh goodness me, what if am the one dying today? Am I going to Heaven? Or Hell? What about you? Are you ready to see Jesus?

I had to stop praying to God not to take my mother today because if that is His will, … that someone I love must die today, then, my mother it has to be. DEFINITELY NOT MY DAUGHTER!! It is not that I would not miss my mother, that picture of me standing at her graveside is not pretty but what choice have I got? If it is God’s will, it must be done! So I asked God to at least hold on till I could talk to her and then He could take her and only if it is His will and He cant change it. The condition I put to God is because if she dies today, many of my loved ones are on the way to hell because they will have failed miserably on God’s test. But since they would remain alive, the question for them is whether they would be able to find their passion, accept their failure and move on. So they still had a chance at getting to Heaven which they would not if I chose any of them to die today.

If am the one to die today, I would be happy knowing that I pursued my passion to tell people about the second coming of Jesus and how to prepare themselves for it or how to find their ‘mukhti’ or liberation. And since I did it in writing, inspired by God, I know that my children for generations to come would have the chance at going to Heaven if they pursued their passions and got to see Jesus in everyone around them. Because everyone in your life has Jesus in them and you must get out of the house and meet Jesus in them. Going back to philosophy, it may be true that life is an illusion.

The other day I was walking to get my car and I saw a lady lying on the ground. She looked homeless and was bleeding around one of her eyes which were closed. Everyone of us just walked pass her. I looked at her and wondered what message God was trying to give me by showing me this person. The next day she was gone. Where? I don’t know. Yesterday I noticed another lady ranting incomprehensibly along the street as she walked and I wondered what message God was trying to give me by showing me this person. I have been wondering about timing for a long time even before I started believing in God. I always wondered how the people I meet on the street as I walk by ended up there at exactly the same time as me yet we had not planned to meet and I have no idea who they are. If you asked me: “Who is that?” in reference to them, my automatic minimum thinking reply would be: “Only God knows.” Completely oblivious to how true that is! Jesus could have been any of those two ladies I passed on the street or anyone else that did not catch my attention. Because Jesus will come like a thief in the dead of night so that the effort it takes to see Him, is phenomenal at best. You have to squint, put your hand over the top of your eyes to focus clearly ahead of you and into the eyes of everyone you meet in order to see Jesus. This is not possible from a distance you have to be close enough to that person and that person has to let you make a fool of yourself in their face!

My mother had told me that her illness was God’s blessing to her. This makes sense to me now. It was His way of getting her to Heaven. And how were we to see Jesus in her? What madness does to you is it makes you make a fool of yourself ALL THE TIME. And it is not a pretty sight for those seeing you in your madness. I have been abused and shouted at and quarreled by my mother in ways that I could not understand and if I tried to shout and quarrel back, I ended up meeting Petty Squabble. On top of that, the financial burden that she has been has been HEAVY at times. I will admit that there were times I wished she could just die. Not knowing that if she died before I saw Jesus in her, woe unto me!

Who is Jesus? Jesus is the Son of God who died to save us from sin. I have not yet got to understanding how the saving from sin worked but I guess am on the way there. When people talk about Jesus, they imagine the richest, most handsome, most powerful, most gracious, most attractive, most wonderfully indescribable being who they can do ANYTHING to be friends with. Now is it possible for such a being to be inside a mad woman like my mother? Only if He is willing to make a BIG STUPID DUMB FOOL of Himself and present Himself in disguise. Disguises are meant for comedians or people who want to entertain by making fools of themselves OR thieves whose optimum time of operation is in the dead of night like the hooded gang who raided the Standard newspaper offices on the instructions of a man who calls himself a snake Do you know what a snake is? A SNAKE IS THE REASON THAT YOU AND I ARE HERE SUFFERING INSTEAD OF IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN HAVING FUN. Can you imagine that some people did not get the message that guy was sending when he called himself a snake in public and some are even willing to put him in a leadership position in our country! They are blinded by the god of economic development.

I have been trying to call the lady who lives with my mother to tell her about my cousin going to pick my mother and today of ALL days, her phone is off. Why? I don’t know! Can you see why I just have to see my mother today and talk to her? She found her passion and pursued it despite the ridicule and rejection she suffered from EVERYONE around her. She is an angel. I know that now. I want to see her and tell her that I know. Even if she thinks am stupid, its ok, coz I will have made a fool of myself in an effort to see Jesus in her.

I saw her the other day when she came for her weekly visits at my house to spend time with her grand daughter. Now that I think back on it, I remember noticing her looking and talking like she was not really her. Like her face had changed somehow. She had brought a comb for me to plait her hair with but I was too late getting home to do it. I now wish I had and when she comes, I will. Even if she had it done already by someone else, I will still do it again coz that’s what I would do for Jesus that wonderful being who can give me everything my heart desires by taking me back to the garden of eden to have fun away from the snakes down here.

I wondered whether it was the pursuit of my passion that was having an effect on her, making her better. I wondered whether if I pursue this passion of mine, my mother will be cured. Something her doctor and the medicines she takes have never been able to do. She hates taking her medicines and has refused to take them many times like she preferred to be mentally ill. Now I see why. Because when she is not taking the medicines, she is crying her heart out that we cannot see Jesus in her and free her. The madness of a blessing in disguise. Instead we go to doctors and pump her full of medicines in the way the world has taught us. Then I thought that without the help of my brothers, it may not be possible for me to free her alone. If they do not join me on this quest to find the missing something in their lives, then she will only be half cured. Like she is now. And not just my brothers, also my sisters, my mum, my sisters-in-law and everyone who has ever met her.

My dad refused to see Jesus in my mother and release his passion. That’s why he died. The strong feeling he kept getting to help that woman and not run away from her, instead of expelling it, he held it in. He refused to step out the door and meet Jesus and chose to go back to sleep. And so, the passion started eating him alive in the form of cancer. Doctors in Washington, England and Kenya told him they could not help him. That was not enough for him to realize that what was eating him alive is the passion and all he had to do was see Jesus in her and he would be free of the illness. Does that mean he is in hell? Well, maybe he saw Jesus at the last minute or second, I don’t know. He may be in hell still refusing to see Jesus. Only he can get himself out of hell. I don’t know how? That’s not my job. Sad huh?!

My job is to tell the people around me and those I meet on the street and those I love and those in my church and the politicians and the lawyers, even my satans, to stop working, start thinking, follow your passions and see Jesus. Is it a difficult job? Not nearly as difficult as my mother’s. At least not so far. Soon I might write something someone in power like that snake does not like and find myself being prosecuted for Jesus. And people will ridicule me and make a fool of me and no-one will be willing to stand by my side and see Jesus with me. This road am traveling along is not for many. Very few can stay on it. In that church, only one person out of hundreds would have gone to Heaven if Jesus was the one making a fool out of Himself there last Sunday. Because only he could see Jesus in me.

Where does money feature in all this? Can I possibly go back to looking for money when I have such a big task ahead of me? No, money flows where passion goes. So I don’t care about money, like my husband says, it will come.

I had to clap for myself on this chapter.

Chapter 43

Mind Boggling
By Njeri Mucheru-Oyatta

Chapter 43

Today I discovered what actually killed my dad. It was not cancer, it was passion. I have not cried at all during the times I have been writing but today, I was shedding tears. I could not sleep last night, I got up and tears started coming out of my eyes and then I burst out laughing at how stupid my thoughts sounded to me!

In the morning as I was bathing my daughter, more and more thoughts were flowing and by the time I lifted her out of the bath after plaiting her hair, I reached for my phone and called my cousin and asked him to go get my mother and bring her to my house. I was not in a condition to drive to her house. I cancelled my court case and decided that today, I was not going to work. Today is one of those days when you have no option but to cancel EVERYTHING you had planned and go do what HAS to be done. Ok, am not talking about having good sex but I guess to make it clear to you, that’s about it. Or actually the better way to put it is that I felt like I needed to make funeral arrangements today. Like I had received information about someone close to me having died and I cancelled everything. People would definitely understand that!

I thought my mother was going to die today because if I ever needed to see my mother and talk to her, today was the day. I said that passion is like pee or poo and if you do not expel it from your body, it will kill you. What made me cry last night was not the realization of what killed my dad. It was the realization that God had plans for me which I did not want to do and I knew that I had no choice. The thought of going back to that church wearing my t-shirt was in itself scary. I had planned to wear the t-shirt for like 2 or 3 Sundays and see if anyone will notice me. But last night, I realized that Jesus, is coming at an unappointed time. And there is no time for me to dilly dally on my job of telling people to prepare for His second coming. I had this strong feeling that I had to address the congregation this coming Sunday because that might just be the day that He actually comes and imagine if He finds me telling people about me. Would I have bought myself a free ticket to Heaven or what? And what if am not telling people about Him when He makes His entrance? Would I have bought myself a free ticket to Hell or what?

Now let me tell you something passion does. Passion is what prepares you for what the Hindus call ‘mukthi’ directly translated in English as liberation or what the Christians call the second coming of Jesus. When Jesus comes, we will all be liberated. This revelation made me realize that if I do not pursue my passions, am going to die AND I will not go to Heaven. So whereas holding in your pee or poo will result in a medical condition that a doctor’s appointment will sort out in a flash, holding in passion will result in eternal damnation in hell. Is this crazy or what?

So now what made me cry and laugh at myself was thinking that it is possible that if I do not stand up in that church on Sunday and make a fool of myself for Jesus, I might just die and end up in hell. Does this sound real? Of course not. That’s why when the fear of death and an eternity in hell made me cry, I felt stupid and then started to laugh. I think I am becoming a fool. And that is no laughing matter because it relates straight back to my mother’s mental health. I asked myself whether when she developed the medical condition, what actually happened to her is that she found her passion and fought with it like am doing and finally decided that she would rather go to Heaven and gave in to it. What am saying is this. God gave my mother a job to do. And let me tell you what I have been praying about since I woke up, that: “Apart from not making me like Jesus or any other prophet for that matter, God please, do not make me like my mother as well. Just please let me be me.” Why? Because my mother was given an assignment by God that I could not possibly handle. I remember that I was told that before she went mad, she was an ardent church goer and would sometimes even spend the night in church!!

This is what was revealed to me about her. My mother was given an assignment by God to make a fool of herself for Jesus. God’s purpose for doing that was to test our readiness for our ‘mukthi’ or liberation or the second coming of Jesus. Those who were being tested in this case were me, my brother, my dad, my sisters, and my mum. How was this test being carried out? The test was whether we could ever be able to see Jesus in my mother. Jesus said in the Bible that He would come to us like a THIEF IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT. Like a what? A thief in the dead of night.

Now picture this. A Mungiki thug enters your compound and is heading for your door. You are not too absorbed in economic development and making money so you manage to hear his approach. You pick up your torch and a weapon of whatever kind. You try to stay indoors and shine your light outside to see who’s there. But let me tell you something, Jesus will not be standing there for you to shine your torch at and see Him standing there. What would a thief do when he sees a light coming from the house? He would duck behind the nearest solid object to prevent any glimmer of that light from getting to him. Then what do you do? You have to step out of your house to go see who this guy is. Are you afraid or not? You are shit scared at that thought. You do not know the intentions of that guy out there. It could be to kill you. But if you do not go see who it is and just continue sleeping in your house, you will never discover who that guy was and what he wanted with you. And IF THAT GUY IS JESUS, WOE UNTO YOU MY FRIEND COZ HELL IS BECKONING!! So you must gather up the courage to venture out there and see who that guy is. Will it be stupid for you to do that? Of course, that guy might kill you! But if you go back to sleep, and that was Jesus out there, instead of you being liberated, you will have missed Jesus and when you die, you will still be thinking about economic development and making money and thus be in hell coz economic development and making money is not for the dead, it is for the living and you will not have realized that simple fact. And then who will be the BIG FAT FOOL? Jesus or you?

At this point I burst out laughing until I had to go to the loo. Are you laughing at what a fool I am?